Well, life is insane.
I’ve been out of school now for… I forget how long but not very long. A lot has happened. A new boyfriend (<3), my brother losing one of his front teeth (he’s 16), leaving freshman year behind and going on to be a sophomore… And going to an orthodontist and having him tell me that they want to rip out four of my teeth (NOT my wisdom teeth, they might have to rip all four of those out too), give me braces for two years, the a retainer that I will have to wear for a while and finally wear that retainer about 3 nights a week for the rest of my life.
Yeah, life is annoying.
I’m in Aikido right now and my hip-hop class starts this Thursday. Tomorrow I have to go to Aikido. I just hope that I don’t kill my stomach again. Not fun.
Well, onto the real reason I’m posting this (other than to catch you guys up with my life). A new boyfriend has brought a whole new light to things. I’m thinking about things I’ve never really thought about before, considering whole new options that I had ruled out in the past. I’m challenging myself to question what I will and will not do. What I want from life, what I want from myself. What do I want to do with my life? So much of it is unplanned and it worries me. I want to be able to become successful and be able to work. I’d never even thought about being a stay-at-home-mom because I never planned on having children. I’ve always seen myself working during the day as an adult. Yes, I’m 14, I shouldn’t be thinking about things like this but I am. I’m driving myself insane! Bringing the whole ‘mom’ thing into account, I’m starting to wonder if I really do have limitations set for myself. Places I will not go to no matter what. But… I’m starting to feel like jelly and considering changing a limitation I’ve had set since I was three just because someone posed a question and I started to think. Am I crazy for starting to change myself just because of that little thing?? I don’t want to become a push-over. In fact, I can’t become a push-over, especially if I’m going to be a mother. There I go again! Changing a limit and starting to give in to things. Or am I not giving in to things and just looking at this from a different perspective and asking “what if?”
Ugg, I’m a wreck.
Well, feel free to give me advice, your opinion, whatever. Just, please don’t post anything like… I dunno, something that would make me angry if some one else saw it… And don’t post too much information.
Lots of creeps on the internet.
 Azarhael Morganti · Mon Jun 18, 2007 @ 06:26am · 0 Comments |
