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Well, I got some advice from my counsler because my friends were worried about me, so he told me that when I feel sad/frustrated... or anything that could lead to cutting, I should write a story/journal about it to get my feelings out.
So yeah, I'm just going to be rambling for a little while about things... anything.

Well I'm pissed at my mom because she keeps on saying 'Where's the old Haileigh?'. It makes me feel horrible because it's like she doesn't like who I am now, and even though I ask her not to, she keeps on saying that.

My dad lied a lot to me. When I was 9 or 10, he was constantly completely drunk, and telling me he wasn't like I couldn't tell. One day he just left after he fought with my mom, and we locked all the windows and doors so he wouldn't come back. Well he did... and he ran his car into the side of the garage. (not leaving any huge mark though.) And he somehow got in and probally passed out downstairs.
Even though that was a while ago, he is still drunk and lies about it. When me and my little brother find beer in his car, we tell him about it, and he says sorry and he goes downstairs. We constantly are finding empty beer cans, and a while ago I found his trunk litterally stock full of 24 boxes of beer. He promised a long time ago he would stop, and it was horrible to find that. Because he completely broke his promise and didn't even say anything more than sorry - so that led me to cut myself once.
No one knew about it but a few friends at school, and when my mom kept looking at me like I was hiding something, I told her about it. She almost laughed when I told her it wasn't big, but then she just said 'don't do it again'.

Well now she's seriously overwhellming me when I want to be left alone, and my dad is ignoring me when I seriously need to be said hi to every now and then.
A few friends at school know how I feel about cutting, and one of them chased me around until a teacher made her stop, while another one hugged me. I ended up doing it again once my mom made me feel like s**t about not being who she wants me to be.
Then a few of my friends got really worried and decided to take it to the counsler, who had me sit down and talk a bit about it.
Now I have a few things to do if I feel horrible/sad/ anything that would lead me to want to cut, which helps a lot.
But still not enough. I did it again, which means I have three marks somewhere on my left arm, and my mom knows about one, and my friends know about two. It's weird to hide it, but it's something I know about that no one else seems to understand fully. (Although it's okay when it's impossible to knows, but some people act like they know exactly how I feel, which is really annoying.)

My mom just got angry/frustrated at me for being anti-social because I wanted to stay home while she took my little brother roller-skating, which isn't exactly helping, because... again, it hurts to know that I'm not relevantly close to how she wants me to be. Now I'm learning to fight the want to go back to cutting, so I play bass , draw, type on the computer, make banners, look at pictures, even just go down to the lake and read. It's helping... but my mind is still wanting to go back to cutting because it let myself loose, even for a little while.

If you have advice, that would be nice. But other than that I just needed somewhere to rant about things like this. Sorry if it was long... I guess that's about it.