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More Deep Thoughts

- In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

- Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

- Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

- Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

- If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?

- Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

- Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch,' but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?

- How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

- Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

- Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

- Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?

- Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don't have to live with women?

- If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?


Kangaroo Fence

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just sauntering around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"


A Brunette by Any Other Name...

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?

Invisible

I'm the Boss

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"


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