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Things have been plaguing my mind all day, it's hard to concentrate, I've been cleaning and trying to keep myself busy until my husband and I's next therapy session, which is now...about 2 hours away. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

The Rasmus- "In the Shadows"

No sleep,
No sleep until I'm done with finding the answer
Won't stop,
Won't stop before I find the cure for this cancer

Sometimes, I feel like going down, I'm so disconnected
Somehow, I know that I am haunted to be wanted

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

They say, that I must learn to kill before I can feel safe
But I, I'd rather kill myself than turn into their slave

Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder
Somehow, I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles
Watching, waiting for something
Feel me, touch me, heal me
Come take me higher

I've been watching, I've been waiting
In the shadows for my time
I've been searching, I've been living
For tomorrows all my life

I've been watching,
I've been waiting,
I've been searching,
I've been living,
for tomorrows....

In the shadows....

In the shadows.....

I've been waiting.....


Evanescense- Tourniquet

I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
(So much more)
I lay dying
And I'm pouring
Crimson regret, and betrayal

I'm dying, praying
Bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me, salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me, salvation

Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me

I'm dying, praying
Bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me, salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me, salvation

Return to me, salvation

I long to die

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me, salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me, salvation

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ
Tourniquet, my suicide

Return to me, salvation
Return to me, salvation


Evanescense- Give Unto Me

I've been watching you from a distance
But distance sees through your disguise
All I want from you is your hurting
I want to heal you
I want to save you from the dark

Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burdens
I'll drink your deadly poison

Why should I care if they hurt you
Somehow it matters more to me
Than if I were hurting myself
Save you, I'll save you

Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burdens
I'll drink your deadly poison

Give unto me your troubles
I'll endure your suffering
Place onto me your burdens
I'll drink your deadly poison

Fear not the flame of my love's candle
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness


I'm done for now. I love you all.