Go On, Don't regret anything you can't forget.
______?????________ ?????________
_____????????___??????????_______
____???????????_???????????_______
____???????????????????????______
_____???????***?***???????________
______??????*******??????_________
_______??????*****??????__________
________??????***??????___________
_________??????*??????_____________
__________???????????_____________
____________????????______________
_____________?????________________
_____________ ???_____________
_______________?_________
Love Poems:
n/a:
Could it possibly be love? I want to write that note, I really do! but when ever I start, I creep out and throw it away. I put the pen down and pick up the marker. It's not like he'll ever know what I've done. Smelling a foul fume that could destroy everything. Could I possibly love him? I hope I don't, he'll just let me down. How do you turn your back away from love? Can we live without it? Do you understand how I feel? Does he love me? How do I tell you how I feel? Can you write a love note for me? Would it be the same?
((This poem was writen a LONG time ago. I don't even remember who it's about...))
n/a:
He says he loves me, but he just walks away in my time of need. He doesn't listen to me. He never takes the time to call me. He can't stand the thought of losing me, but he can't stand being around me.
((also, writen so long ago.))
Just Now:
Just for you, I'll hide it all away. Put all my stuf in bags for another day. Is that what I really want? Go away! You never really loved me anyway.
((writen not too long ago, not about any body, but I like how it sounds))
Endless Nights:
A sleepless night, alone and unwarry, dreams of this, haunt me so. Every moment awake, a new improvement to make, changing sarrows. Once in my life, I want to sleep without thoughts of you.
((Not being able to sleep totally kills me, I was so tired, I barely remember writing this lol))
Love Sick:
Lust is a sin. Why? I'm not sure. Love is hurtful. It's all just a game, & we're losing 10-1. The happy boat left and we're stuck on lonely island.
((Seriously, why is lust a sin?! damn it.))
n/a:
I was sick. It was like a movie. He came running out to me. I love him. He loves me. He told me not to forget and wished me to get better. I'd never felt so loved my entire life. Walking home in complete sunnyness, tears rolled down my face until I got in the confines of my room. I don't think I'll ever forget that day.
To Do List:
In a room so quiet, we hear ourselves. Thinking of everything. You're on the top of my list.
Unaware:
Spending days with only you. I could run away and you'd still be in my every thought. My friends aren't upset, but they aren't aware. I don't have much left, but I could find some more.
Let You in:
Too scared to let go, I can't let you in. The door is unlocked, yet I can't find the key. The words are in my head. As they some out all at once, they make a mess of things. Pushing hard against my will, the only way in is by going out.
Falling: ((As you read this, pause after every . otherwise it doesn't sound as awesome!! It's not a love poem, but I believe it's really good.))
In an instant. Falling. Spiraling downward. Everything looks the same. For hours. For days. For years. Falling. Screaming. No one calls back. A constant pace. A never ending abyss. Falling. Time has stopped. Can't do anything. Watching clouds of dark hopes and dreams. Dropping farther. Without a reason. Wanting to end it all. Falling. Until the answer is given. Nobody will be saved. All alone. Yet completely surrounded. Falling. Waiting to hit the ground. Hear a sound. Falling. Seeing no one. Scielence. Falling. When it's all done. I won't be scared any more.
I'd rather die then go on living without you.
n/a means not tittled.
What about me:
You know she's taken,
You know I love you,
You know her boyfriend,
You know how I feel...
Why do you still love her? She's taken and happy! Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they did! How can you love her? Losing you hurts so much. But it's something I'll have to live through, again... and again.
((Also kinda old.))
New Pain:
After that happened, nothing is the same any more. Some one once told me, Never give up and keep fighting. When those words were exchanged, they ment nothing. Now I know I should put those words to use against this new pain.
((as before, old one.))
Being with you:
I really like how you sound, how you feel, how you move. I really want to be around you, to hold you close, to feel your body up against mine. I really wished that you loved me, you wanted me, you cared for me.
((old))
Melancholy:
I still believe that I cannot be saved. Sometimes is hurts so bad that I cringe. I can't remember that last happy moment. It seems that initaniate sadness has come. It's hard to let others help me when I've been on my own for so long. And now I'm back. All the time, crying, never truely happy. The word is barely a memory to recollect. And all the pain, it starts to rain. It's not worth it any more. I'm sure that it's true, I still believe I cannot be saved.
((A poem I wrote in about.. March? Yea, that wasn't a good month.))
Shoot me:
Drop Dead.
Get The Drift.
Nobody Cares.
No One Loves You.
Why Won't You Just Do It?!
Shoot Me!
((old))
Or So She Said:
She said something
very quiet
quiet enough to
make you ask
what.
Nevermind.
She brings it up
but won't say
a word.
Why.
She likes attention.
She's a b***h.
Why can't she accept it.
She mumbles something
ever so quietly.
She won't repeat.
What's the point of
saying it?!
((About some gurl that I hate, but she doesn't know I hate her, and she never will.))
n/a:
Sometimes I wonder,
What more is there to life?
Love, Pain, Hate?
Love turns into pain.
Pain turns into hate.
But you sill love him?
Why Do I love you?
((the oldest poem eva!! At least 3 years old.))
Memory:
When you hear my name, what comes to mind? All the good times we had, or how we lost it all? I want to be a good memory, not a nightmare.
Invisible:
I wish I was as invisable as you make me feel. Sometimes I sit here wondering how I could change it all. I didn't mean to do it, find it in your heart to understand this. I try to ease the pain by thoughts of suicde, but you just bring it back harder and heavier. I know I hurt you, but once you love somebody, they become a part of you. I loved you and you found a place in my heart. You pretend not to notice me but somthing in your gut tells you to say something, anything. You always make it worse, why can't I live without you?
((Writen in 8th grade. I remember that day pretty well, nothing really seemed worth it.))
This Life:
At the begining,
It seems perfect,
Like nothing could go wrong.
After a while,
It gets a little harder,
Slowly progressing in life.
When the going gets though,
You think: "Suside"
But decide to live.
What keeps you here?
Is it going to get better?
What if you miss your chance?
You tried every form of happiness:
in a pill,
in a marker,
in a beer,
in a drug.
Nothing works,
Nothing makes the pain stop.
Make the throbbing go away!
Shut yourself out...
What more is there left for you in this life?
((wow, just to let everybody know, all these pomes are kinda old))
Everything:
Some people say that they don't have anything. When they don't even know what it's like to lose everything they thought was right and ment something to them. They just don't get it. Life is a lost more than personal looks, preformance, possesitions, and popularity. God put us here for a fricken reason! Everything thing that happens, happens for a damn good reason. When those people try so hard to look great, ut just eats them away from the inside out. All the lies you say ["You have to have this," or "you can't be happy if you don't have this"] are tests to see if you can stand up for whats right. It hurts when they think they have nothing and don't even relize that some people, really only have themselves.
((I hate when people think that because they don't have the newest things, they arent worth it.))
I Love You:
When things are dark and gray, you're there to wash the bad things away.
When things are messy and bleek, you speak with cheezey caring words of grace. You make me have butterflies.
(( I love you.))
All these poems are in my sticker journal, it's in my backback. If you'd like to see them, or others that I haven't posted, let me know!!
Old Poems from fam. puter
Esposito M. Algal-
Hey i'd just like to thank you for reading my daily poems! Thanks so much!
Very First Kiss-
It feels like eating a car whole,
It feels like runing for 12 hours on end,
It feels like jumping off a cliff without a safety net,
It feels like sinffing a permament marker,
It feels like skipping over dead people,
It feels like killing an old boyfriend,
It feels like stabbing a knife in the throat,
It feels like the very first kiss.
Rail Road Tracks-
Jumping off the rail road onto a dart board on a wagon in a nut shell isn't the best thing ever, i'd rather get hit by that train! Everybody does it... think back, have you ever lied to someone cuz it made u 'feel' cool but then they found out that you were lieing about your life? Or, i have a better one, have you ever had sex but when they ask u you say no! but your sex partner told EVERYBODY?! Or you didn't have sex but your boy toy says that you did have sex?! If thats your problem then ******** YOU! STAY ON THE TRACKS, GET HIT! I'd rather get hit....
Where's the Beef?!-
Bread lettus
tomatoe cheese
pickels onions
mayo mustard
ketchup... whats missing?
THE BEEF!
Addiction-
Get up,
Take a shower,
Blow dry hair,
Eat breakfast,
Brush teeth,
Wash hands,
Put contacts in,
Put cover-up on,
Put eye shadow on,
Put eye liner on,
Put Mascara on,
Put lip stick on,
Put lip gloss on,
Go to the bathroom,
Flush,
Wash Hands,
Put shoes on,
Put coat on,
Grab backpack,
Go outside,
It's raining.
Just Friends-
When you fall, I help you up.
When you laugh, I laugh along.
When you cry, I make it better.
When you talk, I listen.
When you walk, I walk.
When you have problems, I help you through them.
When you get sick, I will be there.
When you get married, I will cry.
When you have kids, I will wish they were mine.
When you die, I'll fall apart.
Cry like the Rain-
Rain slowly falling with every step you take,
Slowly falling down to Earth with a splosh.
When the rain hits this pale shaded Earth,
We think,
Does this drop of H2O mean anything to life?
If it does,
What does it mean?
As plants soak up some H2O,
You ponder on these thoughts,
Wondering,
Why does Earth have such a fowl smell?
Are humans just a leech of this planet Earth?
Or did someone bring us here for a reason?
You slowly like the rain start to cry,
Relizing that the Earth will never be the same again,
How can you stop the pain?
Always Wondering-
I always wondered if he liked me but I never had the courage to ask him. I always wondered if he hated me but I was always too afraid to ask him. I always wondered if he died because of the pain but I didn't have time to ask him. I always wondered if I should ask him out but I was too nervous to say to talk to him. I always wondered if I should kill myself, and I guess the wondering has stoped.
Empty Thoughts-
Finding myself thinking about too much. Lost in the pool of empty thoughts still wondering if it could possiblely be real. Pondering on the thoughts of pain. Drifting upon visions of harsh enviroments. Tripping on dreams of death. Choaking next to thoughts of him. Did these painful thoughts come from him? Or did I just bring them down upon myself? Do I try to hard to please him? Am I thinking of these vien thoughts because I am afraid of losing the only thing that means something to me? Or would I be better off without him? Trying to understand crazy moments of life that never happened. AsI slowly reach for the blade, I wonder, am I doing this for him? Or for myself in pitty? Does he enjoy seeing me this way? Or does he not know how I feel? Does he not know about all the pain he has brought to me? Maybe, just maybe he thinks nothing is the matter. As I tear open old sores from the past I cry out the thoughts of him to show how I feel. Telling him that i have always loved him and then he turns around and walks away?! Will he ever just love me? Or will I just be another dent in the chain of life? As the blood fills up the room I slowly put the horrible mask on and walk away, as if nothing happened. The only thoughts left in my mind are those I have left in the letter. Will he read my letter?
Permantence-
You found a permant place in my mind. In my heart. In my sole. I'll never let you go. No matter how hard you try you'll always be mine! You might want to leave but you find yourself stuck in a web. You can't leave me. You've tried before. It doesn't work! Your stuck in my body, Permantly.
Black Ashes-
Can you hear me call your name? Can you see my pain leak out over the cold ground? Could you help me? Can you find another way out of this rat hole? Is there anyother way? Can you feed off of the shadows? Can you understand me? Can you feel me? Can you drink all this hate? Could you ever find a place for me in your heart? Will you take care of these ashes? Would you find a place for them? Could you ever love me? Could I ever love you?
Wishes-
I wish I may, I wish I might wish apon a star tonight... I wish for peace, I wish for love. I wish for music, I wish for health. I wish for air, I wish for water. I wish for money, I wish for gold. I wish for you as you wish for me.
Whole-
As I look at these holes I wonder if they'll be here forever? Where did they come from? Are they permant? Will I find a way to hide them? All these holes make one hole. Is that one hole bigger then all the little holes put together? Can we pull ourselves throught the big hole or only the little holes?
Tares Me Up Inside-
Do you want to make me cry? Are you trying to hurt me inside? You said I lied to you, What did I lie about? I don't ever rememeber lieing to my only true love! I think about you day and night, awake and asleep. When your not there I cry. When I say "I Love You." and you don't that makes me cry. Your so called 'best friend' called me annoying and stupid, you didn't stand up for me! If I call myself stupid, you used to say "No your not!" now you ignor me. When you don't say those three little words "I Love You." It tares my heart apart! I'd give you half, but you'd just rip it more. Do you even care about me any more? Or am I just another person. I saw that in a note you said "I'll always Love you with my whole heart!" Do you still live by those words? Do you still care for me like you said you would? I walked home in pain, and againoy.Meanwhile, you are playing video games! Does it make you feel strong to bring this down on me? Does it bring joy to you? Does it keep you warm at night? This brings chills in my dreams. This makes me cry every day. This makes me scream at night. This makes me mean to others. This tares me up inside!
See Me Now-
I wish you could see me now. I have done so much with out you. You think you can control me. You think you make me better. You made things horrible. You made me scared. You only made things seem worse then they really weren't. I am now alone, but I feel whole. I heard a voice. I heard it tell me to move on. This wisdom made me whole again. I heard your words. You always lied to me. You said everything was ok, when in reality, everything was spining and going down. You said that you loved me. You said you would always be by my side. When you left the first time, I thought it was my fault. Now I know it wasn't my fault at all. Those feeling were all from you. I cared for you and you walked away. Did you ever care for me or was this all just a part of a plan to break me apart? I wish you could see me now without you. I am whole again.
I Want You-
I love you more then everything else, why can't you see that? I want to be with you for the rest of my life. If I can't have you, nobody can! She looks at you, I'll get the shot gun! I'm not going to share your love anymore! Just when you think you've lost me and you get close to another, pow gone. Do you think I'm jokeing around? Nobody means Nobody! As you try to run away, move to a differnt state, die your hair, change your name. I'll be there waiting for you. You turn every corner with caution. You look behind you just to make sure you aren't being fowelled. You see a tall figure with a large package. As you look foward again you start to walk faster. Turning around to see if I'm still following you. I'm gone? As you face your car you see a shadow in that car. You start to cry. What have I done? I don't want this I just want you... I'm sorry. I walk away never to return.You may live in peace, I'll protect you. ((stalker much?))
Mask-
I lay on my bed, staring into the nothingness that is my ceiling, wonder... wondering... ponder... pondering, is this my life? Do I bleed just to feel alive? Whats the point of liveing a cold life if you can't succed? Sometimes people say they are happy, but you and I both know that they are wearing that shamefull mask. Wearing a mask to hide thier feelings. Wearing a mask to cover thier fears. Wearing a mask to seek the truth of life as we know it... When they don't fit into socity, we ignor them and laugh. When we don't act like our friends they push us away like trash. When I bleed you don't care. Like a fool we all fall, without a mask we are unique!
Love=Pain Community Member 
|
|
