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***VERY IMPORTANT JOURNAL ENTRY*** |
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Dear Moony, Yuka, Magnus and Lith:
I have decided to leave Gaia.
For nearly a year now, this forum has held little interest for me. The ONE and ONLY reason I have stuck around since then has been to hang out with the four of you. I think of you all as real, true friends.
Unfortunately, this latest insult--being temporarily banned for an APRIL FOOLS JOKE--has been the final straw. I no longer have the patience to put up with this world. So I am leaving it. I'll probably be better off for it, too.
I DEFINITELY hope to keep contact with all of you, though!
my email: mad4damouse@comcast.net (don't laugh.)
my AIM: dworldprincess (don't laugh at that, either.)
if any of you have Myspace, let me know!
Don't worry--I'm not quite gone yet. I bequeath all my major posessions to you guys, and I'm going to give them out according to who needs what. All the commons that you guys don't want, I'm going to hunt down some deserving souls in the new to gaia or quest forums.
Also, I entrust unto you my avatar edits. I know they're not as spectacular as some of the others out there, but I'm quite proud of them, and I know you guys will use them well. I'll post them up here for you to save if you like. Between all of your artistic skills, I bet you guys could get a great shop going...
Well, that is all for now.
 Kitoku Hime · Sun Apr 16, 2006 @ 10:58pm · 10 Comments |
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Someone forwarded this to me--it explains a hell of a lot about why I'm so screwed up.
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT CHICAGO
60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and woolly hats. Chicagoans
sunbathe.
50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicagoans plant gardens.
40 above - Italian cars won't start. Chicagoans drive with the windows
down.
32 above - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker .
20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicagoans have the last
cookout before it gets cold.
15 above -New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicagoans put on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicagoans lick the flagpole
and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicagoans get out their winter
coats.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling
cookies door to door.
50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows
complain of farmer with the cold hands.
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Chicagoans start saying. "Cold 'nuff for ya??"
500 below - Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series
First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Chi-ca-go, or
Cha-ca-ga depending on if you live North or South of Roosevelt Rd.
Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy
new one. If in Naperville and your map is one day old, then it is already
obsolete.
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.Chicago has its own version
of traffic rules..."Hold on and pray."
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago--We all drive like that.
All directions start with, "I-94"... which has no beginning and no end.
The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to
7. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out
and possibly shot.
When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the
light turns green before going to avoid crashing with all the drivers
running the red light in cross-traffic.
Construction on Northwest Tollway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. We had sooooo much fun with the fact that we have added Elgin O'Hare and the I-355 to the mix.
All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Cicero!"
If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory
defect.
Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicator.
All old ladies with blue hair and driving Mercedes have the right of way.
Period.
First Avenue, LaGrange Road, and NW Highway all mysteriously change names as you cross intersections (these are only a FEW examples! ).
A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours,
although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 55.
The minimum acceptable speed on the Dan Ryan is 85. Anything less is
considered downright sissy.
The Congress Expressway (Ike) is our daily version of NASCAR.
If it's 100 degrees, it's Taste of Chicago, If it's 10 degrees and
sleeting/snowing, it's opening day at Comiskey Park. If it's rained 6
inches in the last hour, the Western open Golf Classic is in the second
round.
If you go to Wrigley Field pay the $25.00 to park in the "Cubs Lot ."
Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets,etc. If some guy with a flag tries to get you to park in his yard, run over him.
Chicago , there's no place like it!
Kitoku Hime · Fri Mar 24, 2006 @ 04:19am · 0 Comments |
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Quote of the Day (or so) II--Extended Edition |
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this comes from one of my brother's weird friends. I honestly have no idea what goes through this kid's head...
Hypnotist: "you're fishing for something you really want. What are you fishing for?"
Jake: "PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!!"
Hypnotist: "what are you using as bait?"
Jake: "FIRE"
Kitoku Hime · Thu Mar 16, 2006 @ 05:39am · 4 Comments |
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This is probably the most attention I've EVER gotten on my birthday! I got lots of presents, even though, technically, being a grown-up I was supposed to stop getting presents. Nearly everyone on my mom's side got me something.
Not to mention:
heart seven myspace birthday wishes
heart upwards of a dozen phone calls from people who couldn't come to see me
heart eight happy birthday voice mails
heart greetings from random strangers--mom and I went to Magic Kingdom today, and one of the most important things to do at disneyworld on your birthday is to get a button from guest relations that says 'today is my birthday.' Then every cast member you walk past has to tell you 'happy birthday!'
heart a one hundred voice male a capella chorus singing me happy birthday--my father, at a chorus retreat in Indiana, called me on the cell phone in the middle of dinner and said, 'hold on a second.' the next thing I knew, the entire award winning West Towns Chorus was singing happy birthday to me in four part harmony.
heart public humilation in the middle of main street, USA--mom and I stopped in at Magic Kingdom's Main Street Bakery for the neccessary chocolate chip cookies As we were checking out, the Dapper Dans barbershop quartet walked past--all good friends of mine.
"Hey Dans!" I shouted. "Hey!" They cheered. "Come out and watch us sing!" So mom and I watched them finish their first song as we munched our chocolate chips. At which point, someone requested 'sincere'
"Well, we don't know that one," one of them said, "but we do know another song from that musical. And if anybody out there knows it--" they looked straight at me--"they should feel free to come up and join us and sing along." Getting the drift, I went out and joined them in front of the crowd, while the Dans all pretended I was a total stranger picked off the street. We sang 'Lida Rose,' and the crowd was really appreciative. And of course, they had to pick on me some more.
"We see you're wearing a birthday pin. Is it your birthday?" At which point they made the entire crowd sing happy birthday to me! "How old are you now...how old are you now..." one of the Dans started to sing.
Another smacked him upside the head. "Never ask a lady her age--it's rude!"
"Okay. How much do you weigh...how much do you weigh..."
Until we left the park, people came up to me saying, 'wonderful singing! Happy Birthday!' One man, though, paid me the best compliment. "Tell me you work here," he said. "That was too good to be random chance like that." I admitted that I had sung with the Dans many times before. He just nodded. "It was beautiful. You did Shirley Jones proud." (Shirley Jones is the original Marion from 'the Music Man.' THAT made my birthday.
Kitoku Hime · Mon Mar 06, 2006 @ 04:49am · 1 Comments |
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five auditions later, I've FINALLY been measured 5'6''. ...Okay, I had to stuff my socks with women's hygiene supplies, but the important thing is, I was tall enough, and no one was the wiser. (Even though my socks were consequentially so thick that I couldn't get them into my shoes, and thus had to excuse myself to the bathroom to dispose of said hygiene supplies.) Anyway, what all of this means is that, in my very near future, there is a yellow puppy dog, a space ranger, an elastic superhero woman, a wise old baboon, and a dim-witted pirate. Stan and Stacy took me out to dinner to celebrate. The meal was nearly over when Stacy realized that we had yet to toast my success, and I was the only one with any beverage left. So we divvied up my lemonade between the three glasses, and raised them in a toast.
"To Laura," Stacy said. "For finally getting a job that she actually wants at this company. Even if she had to cheat a little bit." She and Stan took their sips.
"I'll drink to that," I concurred, raising my glass. "To maxi pads!"
At which point Stan choked laughing and shot lemonade out of his nose.
His nostrils stung until we'd left the restaurant.
Jeez. Why is is that guys can't hear girly words without erupting in giggles?
Kitoku Hime · Wed Mar 01, 2006 @ 01:20am · 1 Comments |
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In honor of the new scarf... |
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30 things you didnt know about chuck norris
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
5. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
6. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't ******** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
7. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
8. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
9. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
10. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
11. Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No fat Chicks.
12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
13. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
14. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
15. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
16. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
17. Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and s**t on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.
18. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
19. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
20. Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.
21. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
22. Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the s**t out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
23. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the s**t out of little kids.
24. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
25. One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
26. Chuck Norris punched a woman in the v****a when she didn't give him exact change.
27. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
28. After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
29. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
30. Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Kitoku Hime · Tue Feb 28, 2006 @ 01:53am · 2 Comments |
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The Man in the Moon Stayed Up Too Late. |
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...Somewhere between The Shire and here, this poem got shortened to a mere four lines.
There is an inn, a merry old inn
beneath an old grey hill,
And there they brew a beer so brown
That the Man in the Moon himself came down
on night to drink his fill.
The ostler has a tipsy cat
that plays a five-stringed fiddle;
And up and down he runs his bow,
Now squeaking high, now purring low,
now sawing in the middle.
The landlord keeps a little dog
that is mighty fond of jokes;
When there's good cheer among the guests
He cocks an ear at all the jests
and laughs until he chokes.
They also keep a horned cow
as proud as any queen;
But music turns her head like ale,
And makes her wave her tufted tail
and dance upon the green.
And O! the rows of silver dishes
and the store of silver spoons!
For Sunday there's a special pair,
And these they polish up with care
on Saturday afternoons.
The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,
and the cat began to wail;
A dish and a spoon on the table danced,
The cow in the garden madly pranced,
and the little dog chased his tail.
The Man in the Moon took another mug,
and then rolled beneath his chair;
And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,
Till in the sky the stars were pale,
and dawn was in the air.
Then the ostler said to his tipsy cat:
"The white horses of the Moon,
They neigh and champ their silver bits:
But their master's been and drowned his wits,
and the Sun'll be rising soon!"
So the cat on his fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,
a jig that would wake the dead:
He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,
While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
It's after three! He said.
They rolled the Man slowly up the hill
and bundled him into the Moon,
While his horses galloped up in rear,
And the cow came capering like a deer,
and a dish ran up with the spoon.
Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;
the dog began to roar,
The cow and the horses stood on their heads;
The guests all bounded from their beds
and danced upon the floor.
With a ping and a pang the fiddle-strings broke!
The cow jumped over the Moon,
And the little dog laughed to see such fun,
And the Saturday dish went off at a run
with the silver Sunday spoon.
The round Moon rolled behind the hill,
as the Sun raised up her head.
She hardly believed her fiery eyes;
for though it was day, to her surprise
they all went back to bed!
Kitoku Hime · Thu Feb 23, 2006 @ 05:14am · 0 Comments |
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Oh, the Places I'll Go... |
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Yuka was talking about places in Europe that Americans should know about but don't. And it made me think about all the places I want to go when I'm rich and famous. So I figured I should list them all so I can keep adding on... A few of them I've been to before, but never on my own, and never when I could explore them the way I'd like.
the 14 US states I have yet to visit (can't say for sure which ones they are until I look at my marked map back in Chicago...)
California (for the National parks and for Disneyland)
Yellowstone, Yosemite, and Grand Canyon
Boston
England
Scotland
Ireland
Wales
Paris (but only for Disneyland...didn't care much for the city)
Rothenburg, Germany (it was cool!)
Bavaria (back to my roots)
Champery, Switzerland (In my opinion, the most beautiful place in the world)
Greece
Machu Picchu
Japan
Egypt
Hong Kong (but only for Disneyland)
feel free to comment with your own list, or with places I should add to mine. 3nodding
Kitoku Hime · Wed Feb 22, 2006 @ 05:19am · 1 Comments |
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