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This math test coming up is pissing me off and I think I'm addicted to Ramen. Here's my little rant about "oriental style" flavour ramen noodles.
I'll be abrupt and to the point (Which also means "to the point", so my redundancy count so far is 1) : Oriental style ramen tastes and smells like old people. I had the misfortune of eating this hellforsaken meal replacement one fateful day. I opened the package, and his overwhelming smell of celery rushed to my noze. I didn't think it was that bad, then I took the freeze-dried noodles out, put it in a pan, and reached for the bottom of the packet....there it was: the 'oriental flavour'. Now this scared me. Billions upon billions of thoughts rushed through my head upon looking at a small silvery packet that said 'oriental' on it. One such though is that it really WAS people.
"What the hell is oriental flavour? What do they do; Take a guy like me and put him in a bowl?"~Dat Phan
My thoughts indeed. Well, I opened this horrid packet from beyond the grave and inspected its contents. As said earlier, it smelled of elderly people (redundancy count: 2!). Again, billions of thoughts arose; one of them being: "What kind of sick, necrophilic, sadist would come up with such a concoction?" Another one of them thinking back to that old movie I saw called 'Soylent Green', which was about the overpopulation of the world, and how they coincidentally 'took care' of the situation, while a new and popular food product, 'soylent green' rose in local grocery store aisles; much to the peoples' dismay when they found out "Soylent green is PEOPLE!"
Well, I was damned hungry and with nothing else to eat; so I cooked it. to mask the flavour, I put a LOT of pepper and a scrambled egg for good measure. I ate it and, lo and behold, it tasted of elderly couples mashed in with celery, mushrooms, and pepper with some scrambled egg. The scariest thing about this is that I like the flavour.
'Nuff said.
 The Perennial · Thu Nov 11, 2004 @ 06:35am · 1 Comments |
