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My comfortable abyss of negativity
happy people be warned
Life is Wonderful
heart heart Things are looking grim, and the world is looking down, but Life is wonderful anyway. heart

I just got a job~! *whoo-hoo!* heart

It's not the best job, but it's something~!

I start on monday!

Whoo-hoo~! Booyaka! I will probably end up hating it later, but WHO CARES? I'LL HAVE MONEY NOW! ********! heart


I wonder...
Is it bad when you become bored with life???? sometimes,(more and more often now), I wonder if it would be better to just die young... I know it's stupid to say.... but when you're sick of life, it sounds pretty nice.... There just isn't a point to living.... there's not... no matter how much you look, there is NOTHING. Even if you accomplish something great, you're just going to die anyway... we only get one chance.... maybe for some people, it's better to relinquish that chance then to try and fail.... I'm just bored with life... I don't want to be "me" anymore.... something makes me want to just... rip myself apart and become someone else... I wonder if I can do that??? I'm tired of people, I'm tired of this place, I'm tired of breathing and thinking and existing. It's too much... I feel overwhelmed and anxious and I don't even want to be around people.... I can't tell anyone what I really think, because they just label me as a "b***h" or a "loser" or whatever.... I think that for others to assume to tell me that what i'm saying is wrong... even if I'm sick of it, even if i'm bored with it, it's still my life... I can do what I want...

...
...
........ if I do go out, it will be with a bang... I'm going to take all of those ******** with me.... just try to live through it, I dare you......


I need to vent my frustrations on someone... I need to scream at someone, beat on someone, cut someone up into tiny little pieces... but since I currently have to act within the limits of sanity, I cant...


another thing: I'm sick of hearing about "love" you all are in highschool for chrissake, you're far too immature to know what love is!

and another thing... I may act immature, but that's because way back in the day, I was my normal self and didn't have any friends... and others pressured me out of my maturity... if I could be myself, I'd be way more mature than all of you...

wanna take offense and flame me? go ahead, see if I ******** care


>.< test
I took an interesting couple of tests today.... >.< i'm going to post my results here because i'm ******** bored.

1st test: "what Riku are you?"

Result:

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

An enigma, forever in the mysterious darkness. You live to mesmerize, and you enjoy secrecy. Not the Darkness of Heart, but the darkness of mystery... You're a fascinating person, and always manage to surprise people because you're so vague.

test two: "which kingdom hearts character would have sex with you" (XD couldn't stop laughing at this one)

Result: (oh yeah, this is soooooo surprising *rolls eyes*)
User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

that quiz was hard to take... >.< i didn't really like it, so i basically laughed my way through it.... 0.0 i'm too innocent for things like that...

Test three: (this was literally 4 questions long XD) "which keyblade would you be?"

result:User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

You are the Pumpkin Head... you love to Freak people out O.O


Paranoia
Lately I've been thinking strange thoughts... What if our lives have been scripted, and what we consider free will is just the control of someone else? What if the colors we see are the opposite in reality and everything is opposite. What if what we call a "girl" is actually a "boy"? What if the words we say actually convey no meaning? Do we even exist? How do we know if we exist? people say " I think, therefore I am" but what if thought is just something programmed into us? When we make a choice, does the option we didn't pick become some sort of alternate reality? By making choices, are we eliminating a whole other existance that is composed of the options we left behind? If our perception of somethings are blocked, does that really mean they don't exist?


s**t s**t shitty shitty s**t
i want a goddamn job~! i swear, everything costs so much these days! it's not fair! every place i aplpy rejects me.... it's such s**t xp i really don't know what i'm going to do, suddenly, all sorts of inconvienient expenses keep appearing... i need a job AT LEAST by december, which is possible, but not a definite thing.... why do yuo have to be 18 to work EVERYWHERE??????


TT.TT you have no idea how much life sucks
i need moonah~! kingdom hearts chain of memories came out TODAY... and as if it wont be hard enough to get a copy, i have no cash and no means of getting cash.... i wish i were dead


s**t...all the s**t
maybe i'm just picky, but i expect certain things out of my friends... i can't go into further detail, because who i'm talking about it will know. they already know who they are.... and if any of my friends ask if it's them, i'll just say no, even if it is indeed you who have wronged me. i don't like being left behind, and forgotten except for when it's convienient for this particular person. it's getting really old, and i'm sick of it. they act like they consider me a best friend, but when push comes to shove, i get left in the dirt. i'm not going to be a weekend-and-sometimes-at-school friend, because that's bullshit. other stuff: i'm tired of meeting new people at school...gawd...i'm happy with who i'm friends with now, i don't need n00bs hanging around...why can't everyone else be happy with what they've got? why do people have to make more friends? i don't get it....


Satouru
Community Member
Satouru
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