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I'm so good at fooling myself. Or putting myself into false senses of security. I really thought i escaped my feelings of sadness, extreme anger, panic. But i haven't. As my family's problems get worse, i don't think i'll be able to pull though like I used to.
Its all back. And to make matters worse, Its all just a little more deeper then it was before.
Mood Swings, sudden anger and fatigue, panic attacks, crying and random times and places.
I'm breaking under the pressure called life that has been alloted to me. I just can't deal. That upsets me even more. My will isn't even strong enough get through this. And why should it. It doesn't look like there'll be any hope. Even though i know there will be.
Then there's that part of me that says, " What?! Don't be a wimp. Grow some (figuritive)havethem kicked, suck it up an get over it. Life sucks a fat one" I wish i could live on the advice of my inner Drill Sargent.
I think the worst part is that i don't have anybody to talk to. I haven't found the person that it will spill all out for. I'm starting to lose touch with reality. And i wish i could just drift off the edge already.
 Rikiya · Sat Jun 24, 2006 @ 08:56am · 1 Comments |
