sigh... even though i'm for the most part changing, i still hurt when i think about my past actions. relationship i've ******** up, friendships lost........... renewed hope shattered within days....... i'm having weird mood changes i'll be happy for days, but then i'll think of those i've hurt... the one i cared for..... i still have feelings for her... i don't believe in love at my age anymore but there's something there!
She's going through hell right now.... and i want to be there for her...... but there's no way i can be now...... because of my stupid behavior.....
WHY IS IT I CAN'T THINK BEFORE I DO SOMETHING!?!?!?!?!?
sigh......... i miss her............ but i have no chance now...
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meh journal of........ HIDIOUS SCREAMING PAIN!
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