|
Music W/ Meaning Starts Here II |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
.: Panic at the Disco :.
~"Camisado"~
The I.V. and your hospital bed
This was no accident
This was a therapeutic chain of events
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's not so pleasant
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back and relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
You're a regular decorated emergency
You're a regular decorated emergency
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in
It's not so pleasant.
And it's not so conventional
It sure as hell ain't normal
But we deal, we deal
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
Sit back, sit back, relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back, bababada
You can take the kid out of the fight
You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind me what you did when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again
You're a regular decorated emergency
The bruises and contusions will remind me what you did when you wake
You've earned a place atop the ICU's hall of fame
The camera caught you causing a commotion on the gurney again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax
Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight
take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back
Sit back, sit back, relax, relapse
Sit back, sit back, bababada
You can take the kid out of the fight
The I.V. and your hospital bed
This was no accident
This was a therapeutic chain of events
 Evhein · Wed Sep 10, 2008 @ 12:41am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Music W/ Meaning Starts Here |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
.: Panic at the Disco :.
~"Northern Downpour"~
If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelry to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me
And then she said she can't believe
Genius only comes along
In storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
Sugarcame in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at boat feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me
Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
Sugarcame in the easy mornin'
Weathervanes my one and lonely
[x3]
Sugarcame (hey moon) in
(Hey moon) the easy mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my
(Hey moon) one and lonely
Sugarcame (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely
[Continues in background:]
Sugarcame (hey moon) in (hey moon)
The easy (hey moon) mornin'
Weathervanes (hey moon) my (hey moon)
One (hey moon) and lonely
Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
You are at the top of my lungs
Drawn to the ones who never yawn
[x2]
Evhein · Tue Sep 09, 2008 @ 11:46pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i think it's hilarious.
lying.
it's funny, isn't it? to watch someone struggle for words, their lips strangling themselves with skin and teeth to reach their speech, never quite catching, always stumbling.
the fight against truth. why? why, why, and i'll say it again, why?
"i missed you."
then why did you ******** her?
"i can't stop thinking about you."
then why did you ******** her?
"i love you."
then why did you ******** her?
did you think she was a good substitute? a girl? not even a woman. you could have done better, savage. you could have had me.
and it doesn't stop there. this is for all liars.
why?
the caution, the scruntiny, the creativity... put it to better use than that. if your head's bright enough to elaborate a fib, then it can sure as hell get straight ******** A's.
put your mouth to better use, mother ********. a whore has better manners.
Evhein · Tue Sep 09, 2008 @ 11:38pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
he's my ego-trip.
he's my domination materialized.
he's my toy, my attraction, my play-thing.
but, scottie's got a mind of his own. he's smart, and he knows.
he knows i'm still so very, very much in love with chris.
god, i don't know why... who the hell would? after everything that happened, maybe i'm in the aftermath confusing love for obsession.
maybe, at heart, i'm a pre-teen female with a desire for a famous boy-band sex-party.
is that really it?
no, the explanation isn't.
but, to the point, is this really it? is this when i make my decision?
i'm hearing the same answer in both ears, from all who watched me crumble last year.
"if you date him again, i swear, i'll never talk to you again."
"i can't watch that happen to you again, no, no. you have to say no."
"what's scottie done for you to dump him like that?"
"scott'd be heart-broken. what's wrong with you?"
"what's wrong with you?"
"what's wrong with you?"
...
i don't know. my love won't ******** leave me alone. i want scottie. i'm happy as i am. i'm happy.
but that was five days ago.
now, now that chris' snuck back inside the seam i sewed together on my heart, i'm back to square one.
except, now it's a square.
patrick is chris' best friend. patrick is my best friend. patrick is in love with me. i've known him for 5 years now, and we know each other so, so, so well.
scottie is chris' ex-friend. my boyfriend. patrick's friend. scottie's in love with me... i've known him for 2 years.
chris is... chris is chris. he was what defined me for a wonderful, unsuspecting 3 and a half months. and then that was it.
"i got bored.", "i fell out of love with you.", "what the hell else do you want me to say?!".
and finally, the ever-paralyzing: "i'm done with you."
and i was thrown aside. why the hell am i still wanting him, needing him, missing him!!!?
i need justice! he ******** with my head, man! my well-being suffered from my heart to my actual health once he ditched me!
and now he wants me back, and i have to actually keep the words from escaping my fingertips: "yes, chris, of course... i still love you, of course i'll take you back, of course, of course...".............
but if there is justice, then i'll stay with my decision to be with scottie. i'll keep my devotion. i'll keep my feelings hidden. i'll keep my tongue.
he doesn't need to know that his partner is having these kinds of feelings... he doesn't need to know.
... right?
Evhein · Tue Sep 09, 2008 @ 11:28pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
the evaluation of a corpse |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
what do you call a liar? a traitor, a thief, a heart-breaker? someone who's dead to you because of the trust you gave them and they stepped on?
you call them a corpse.
my corpse hides in my heart. blonde hair, blue eyes, wrestling team jock, sexy voice, shares my humor, etc.
see where i'm going with this?
he's a skeleton in my closet. a skeleton that's come back to life, lurking now inside my relationship with my newest partner, scottie.
his name is chris. and i'm frightened.
after a lengthy contact from him, i was made aware that chris loves me, misses me, and thinks about me all the time. that his ******** was a mistake, and he was listening to random people that told him to break up with me.
how can i trust someone who just stood by while i cried? while i failed me classes? while i mourned as if my dearest companion was dead (and wasn't he?)?
how could he sit there and move on, acting like it never happen. how could he say he "got bored", "fell out of love", and tell me that i'm "pathetic" for holding on for the smallest shard of hope that could still be holding us together?
my teachers noticed my descent. my friends noticed my descent. my mother (the ******** c**t) even noticed my misery.
and yet... he didn't?
i forced myself forward. i plowed (slowly) through each long, long day before going home to the nagging, mental, b***h of a parent. day-in, day-out.
and he remained happy.
so i "moved on". i picked up his friend, scottie, and we hit it off.
his words were that when he first saw me, he knew he had to have me. scottie said that i had walked into his classroom to deliver something to the teacher, and it was an instant affection. that he knew i was his.
...
what do you say to something like that?
how do you keep that in your heart, especially when it's competing for the space chris still held?
i didn't say anything. i didn't say a word.
"i love you"... and i held my silence in response. there was no room for him.
i began snooping around unfamiliar territory (other boys, girls, toys for me to dominate to release the anger chris left in me). and i found them, oh, god, what i found. but i didn't act.
and scottie left me for another friend of mine, a female.
because i was cold? no. i don't think so. i kissed him. that's something big for me. i don't kiss who i don't like. it's not in me to fake attraction. i'm a horrible liar (see me play strip-bullshit and watch who's the first to get nude).
and i was angry. but wasn't i going to break up with him anyway? i was so unhappy. but, wasn't that to be expected? after chris' three-month-stand with me, after we took each other's virginity, i still held on to him.
and let go of scottie.
...
...
now, i bet you're wondering how i'm back with him, aren't you?
Evhein · Tue Sep 09, 2008 @ 11:15pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well, during my gaia-lapse, i've done some soul searching.
as some of you may be aware, i'm an uber slut. srsly, i am. i flirt/touch/lick/bite/grope/rub/suck/n** anything and anyone (as long as i like them, of course ;P).
well, i've got a boyfriend now that may be... well, he may be something. something different than what i've had before. i've got a lot of guys crooning over me right now, but i picked him, and... well, we haven't slept together yet! biggrin
no, no... lemme clarify something. i act like a whore. i've ******** one person, but have had sexual relations (whether it's kissing, touching, sucking, etc.) with quite a few people. but, i think over-all, i can count them on two hands. razz
anyway, i'm excited. he's my age, but a junior, so he's an underclassman. lol i always go for the kids. i like corrupting them. lol
is that wrong?
Evhein · Tue Sep 09, 2008 @ 11:02pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ninja, what?!
what's up everybody, i'm actually gonna start using this b***h.
i'm back online again, after what seems now like an ex-ter-uh-eeeeee-muh-lee long junior year of high school. and after uber bullshit that never should have happened between all the horrors of high school combined (teachers, friends, sports, illnesses, injuries, b/f's and g/f's, and many, many, many tears), what do you think is the end result?
well, let's just say i made it. i'm a ******** senior, guys!! and at only 16 ******** years old! i turn 17 on the 18th of this month, september.
without any question, i'm ******** excited. i practically s**t my pants when i realized how close my graduation really was.
so, guess what i did over the week-end? applied for college.
because of my grades (obviously they didn't catch sight of last year's horrendous scores), i was sent an 'Ultimate Application' to Bellarmine University. This means my application fee is waved, my essay is waved, i get first picks, A-N-D i get a result within 2 weeks, no BS. i just have to get my couselor to send my s**t over to the school and i'll be set.
but, uhh, there lies a problem in that i won't get into *cough*couselor's a b***h*cough*
ahem, anyway, i'd appreciate hearing back from all my friends around now. i know i've been away for a LONG time... and umm, haven't exactly returned any messages either. O.o;;
anyway, hope to hear from you all soon.
btw, i'm taking german as my foreign language, and guess who's at the top of the class? me'z, bitchez! xD
Evhein · Tue Sep 09, 2008 @ 10:57pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
