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The insomniacs in my head.
Why is there something wrong with me?
I've been on such an emotional roller coaster lately. All week I've balled my eyes out over the tiniest things. The other day we were supposed to go on a "surprise" drive, but the surprise wasn't what I hoped for. Not that it was a bad surprise, but because it wasn't what I expected I cried so hard I thought I'd have to be sedated. The day before my friend was late to our little outing and I was in tears then. When a tiny group of people from a forum here can make me want to just slit my wrists, I think that means it's time to take my medicine. Okay, just to clarify, I wouldn't really slit them, I just felt like it. My meds will stop all of that, but I don't want to go back to being catatonic rolleyes If I had to live like that, I really would slit my wrists.

So yeah, the 21st is my birthday. I'll be 18, horray neutral . Welcome to adult hood, to the end of being a child, the end of birthday parties and great presents, and the definite end to empty, relaxing summers. Welcome to being responsible. I don't think I'm ready. To hear my friends talk now, they already have so much responsibility, I've been so spoiled and sheltered. Sometimes I worry that I won't be able to make it without that protection. Maybe I'll just marry rich and have someone else take care of me. Sigh. I can dream can't I? Oh well, who knows what will happen? I know I don't, and it's ******** scary as hell.

(Sorry for typos.)





 
 
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