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so i went to a funeral...it was a viewing where we look at the body and i don't know what else...i don't like looking at dead bodies because it would get me scared and i would start to break down crying...so i decided not to look, but my family told me to look since i would be the last time i would see her...i felt guilty that i wouldn't look because i didn't visit in the hospital...well, during the service i used up all my napkin, so i didn't want to go up...i said i would only go up if i had napkin, so my cousin game me the only tissue he had left........so i'm waiting in line to visit, and before i could even take one step i start to break down crying...well, i started to tear up, and since my throat was sore and my nose was plugged (yea, side effects for crying is runny nose) so i started to squeek, i couldn't stop...it was really loud...my sister's like on the side of me staring at me like omg, that is sooo embarassing...it sounded like a pig...so then i start laughing...why?...at myself because of the squeeking noise i was making...like omg, at a sad depressing time like this, how could i be laughing...so everyone's like practically staring at me like omg, she's laughing during a funeral...i'm like noo noo it's not because of that, i'm laughing at myself...so i hide behind my cousin, but everyone's still staring at me...gosh, i hope people didn't misunderstand me...oh, yea, so since i used the last tissue, i didn't go up...but i did before they closed the casket crying