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I disappoint everyone today. I think Jose would be better off without me. As would my parents since I cant make them happy either. I dont know what to do anymore. Ive been lost the past few days and all Im doing is making everyone elses lives horrible. I cant ask for anything. I cant ask for breaks without hurting people, I cant be happy. Its always left up to me. I have to be strong, I have to take all the s**t from everyone. I get yelled at, I have to forgive. If i dont then where would that leave anyone? Heaven forbid I make someone else feel like s**t. I get bitched at for it then cry and feel horrible with myself. It hurts so much. But it doesnt matter to anyone if someone else does horrible things to me. I get lectured about respect but I dont get it very often either, from anywhere. Im tired of blaming myself. Im tired of always being the one to appologize for worrying about someone else other than myself. I know I am extreme sometimes. I know I can be a b***h. But for once I wish I could get mad, storm off, and have someone come after ME. I try and try and try. Im sick of being the one to give in. I need to stand for things occasionally. I do, dont I? I try not to be selfish. I think more of my Pooh Bear than I do of myself most of the time. I want him to have a great life. emo
 Starlin · Wed Dec 19, 2007 @ 08:04pm · 0 Comments |
