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Well its been a long long while since i put anything here, so i thought i might stop by and write something small, I've grown up a little since i've put anything her, and i'm no longer friends with Sarah, and Lance moved and didn't come back to our school this year ( thought i would add that since the last couple post that i ever did are about them.) I'm done with high school and i'm might go off to study art education. I'm hoping to move out some time this summer or a little after, but i'm going to move ( I hope) I'm still working at the good old DQ, But its now the Grill and Chill. Sometimes work still sucks like tonight, but other then that its not always bad.

Nothing really new is going on in my life, I've become good friends with a budy that used to be friends with my ex, but don't get the wrong idea hes dating my other friend and they make the best couple. And when i move i'll be moving close to his house... lol tossing a rock and hitting his house is a under statement.

I'm 20 Years old now and i can't even belive it, i can't even spell still but i don't think thats going to change. I still play video games and i've been really into World of Warcraft. I would play it all the time but i have to work hard for the car that i just got a few months back.

I got a new tablet that my mom got me... so i'm doodling all the time on it... nothing really good cause i'm still getting used to it. but i'll post some pictures sometime... lol not that anyone really reads this anymore.

Well for something no one is going to read... this is sure getting really long.. i might as well put my picture that i just did a little while on this just to top it all off..

PS - Don't work at the DQ where i live cause it sucks! lol



The first person to write me a coment, i'll draw them a free picture of their Avi!

OK if you have read all the other Lance entrys then i hope you'll have some happy ness for me in this one... but lose that happy feeling when i get to the end of this entry.

Well last night as you all know i called Lance , Well he didn't pick up so i took a shower and went down stairs and watched the moved " 6 Sence" And i wait and waited thinking maybe he would call me back and he did! So i was all happy and giddy and stuff. We talked for a while and he told me he had 2 siters he lives with his mom his fav color is blue .... and some other things. BUt when i first talked to him he souned sad (He seems to be like that alot ) And i asked him if i made him sad, and he said no. THen i asked him if i made him happy but he said that not alot of people do, and then i asked him why? and he said That he had a hard time trusting people, not that he didn't trust me he said... but still that got me thinking... Maybe cause hes sad is because of his dad thing. I think his mom and dad broke up and thats why he gose to the lake all the time... and maybe something happen and he feels that he can't trust people now. Oh and he said that people always seem to want things from him... and i could have cryed there but i held back the tears. I told him i didn't want anything from him just for him to talk to me. and he laughed a little. ( Gosh he has the most cutes laugh ) But he had to go and i went and watched the end of my movie.

But today, i talk to him... and i saw him like i always do. and he seemed like he always seemed. And every thing was fine. But then me and my friend wanted him to go see a movie with us tonight and so we waited for his class to get out, and his mom could see us from her truck and his sisters were in there.. and i guess My friend wanted to give him a hug and he was like.. i have to go my mom is right here... but from the truck we could hear. " Lances got a griil friend. " And thats when it hit me.... He didn't want his mom to see there we were there.. he has sisters that woudl tease him... and HES JUST 15!!! I don't think i can do this... i want to ask him out but even if he did like me i think he would say no causes hes not ready for a relastion ship. So now i don't know what to do i was so going to ask him out but now i can't.... .Gosh why dose this have to be so hard, and you all arnt helping cause your not saying what you think.

But then things get even more worse... You know that Sam girl i was talking about how she made me mad cause she said something about me at the game, now shes going around in her classes talking about how fat i am and stuff. And then My friend that was with me toeday told me that Sam sat down on the table beside lance and all the boys were making fun of me and he didn't say anything... Gosh yeah that was enough to make me up set right there. So i know how sam is and i know that she could make up crap like that but i don't understand... adn you know you still have to wonder if she really did hear all that.... gosh.. .what is a girl to do in this world.

Well any way i should let you go i just had to tell every one how my phone call went and what happen today. I wont have much to say over the weekend because hes going down to the lake... so just hand tight and i'll get back to you when i get back to you.

I don't know if i told you all about how my friend Cody said that i should tell him how i felt ( If your lost read post before this ) and that i wanted to date him. But Lance already knows i like him and i think if you put 2 and 2 together you will see that i want to go out with him. But any way i was going to try and come with something and tell him how i felt today. But when i got to school, you will never guess who wasent there. Its kinda hard to tell someone that you want to date them when they arnt even there.

So here i am still not knowing what to do and i really want to get this over and just ask him out cause I really hate when i have curshes like this. When all you can think about is them and you need so much to know how he feels causes its better to know then to wonder. ( thats what Cody said. )

I've had many crushes before, i'm sure you remeber Chris from way back in my entrys, But i let that get to far. And when he told me he didn't like me that way it crushed me bigger then i could think. So i don't want that to happen with Lance, cause if he tells me no today or tomorow or even sometimes next week i know i can handle it. But if i fall harder for this guy i'm going to end up upset and be mad at my self for the next few weeks.

Plus i really don't want to ask him in my school. Word gets around really fast because there is only 200 kids in my school. If that. And its not something that is romantic in my book. I would like to go out with him and friends and maybe pull him to the side and say. " Hey you know i like you , and i would really like to date you... so will you go out with me? " Or something like that.. maybe not that corney but still something along those lines.

I'm going to go to my friends house and talk to her so that i can get Lance off my mind. Its really hard though. I just can't wait till this is all over and i can stop wondering if he likes me and if he would say yes or no.. knowing him he would say.. " I don't know" or " Maybe. I'll tell you tomorow." stressed Gosh men are soooo... mean to women sometimes.

Well i should really stop mumbling about Lance. I'll Post tomorow to tell you all what happen.

Bye guys!

I'm lost, and i'm up set, and i'm crying.. and its hard.. and i miss my bestfriend. and i'm going crazy couse i can't talk to her... where is she?? I think she died... I hope not.. then i would cry harder and run away and never come back.... I want Kynale back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crying