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If anyone want to join.
www.spedia.net
It's to make money online. You just sign on, download the bar, and it will give you one dollar for every hour of surfing you do.
Refer me: 3954096
Add this number in the referal when you'll join. Thanks.
 Vanilla Sky · Fri Jul 08, 2005 @ 08:03pm · 0 Comments |
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Help me.
If you have anything to say about it, put it here or reply there. I wouldn't mind help.
Replies and comments would be appreciated.
Thanks.
Vanilla Sky · Mon Jun 27, 2005 @ 07:56pm · 0 Comments |
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"Tornado"
A screaming match again
Could this be the end
A breaking point and I can't bear it
You wanna know the truth
The matter life is long
I've taken every wrong direction
Writing on the wall
Love once strong now falls
I'm staring into space
And drowning under my decisions
I wonder how you can sleep
At night, having lied to these eyes
You could feel the relief
The lying awake at night
Wondering nowhere the same time
To know his face and his name
Made me lose my mind
I fell apart for the last time
These eyes neglected to see it
And thanks to you
My conscious finally feels clean
I brought you into this
You blame me over that
We fight each others accusations
You wanna know the truth
The truth is I'm afraid
Afraid of going nowhere always
Writing on the wall
Love once strong now falls
I'm burning in the flames
Covered with the scars of our love
I wonder how you can sleep
At night, having lied to these eyes
You could feel the relief
The lying awake at night
Wondering nowhere the same time
To know his face and his name
Made me lose my mind
I fell apart for the last time
These eyes neglected to see it
And thanks to you
My conscious finally feels clean
Lately, lately
I just keep wasting, wasting
To make me hate me, hate me
Maybe we just don't belong
Again, is this the end
After what you put me through
I feel nothing for you
Is this really the end?
Vanilla Sky · Fri Jun 24, 2005 @ 09:29pm · 0 Comments |
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Is this normal to feel so full yet empty? The girl I love seem to just have let me with a little note and that's all. Just left.. is that normal? I've passed the hell of a time and now I seem to be on an emotional drought. I actually don't really feel anything anymore. My heart seems to be numb. But not just my heart, my whole body. I can feel everything, yet it seems to have less of an effect it had on me before. She's right, I've changed alot, too. I shouldn't let this loss lose me like this. I have to get a grip of myself. Yet it is so hard all alone. Any kind of support I have just seem to dwindle. Seems nobody's willing to help me. But why? Just why then do they consider themselves friend? I guess this is why I do not like calling most people "friends". They have their own lives to deal with but shouldn't they at least try to help you?
I am at complete loss. Nothing is the same. Even my senses have changed. I do not feel anything the same way than before. Even food doesn't taste the same. The taste has been improved yet I can not enjoy it. All pleasure has been taken out of me. Even my laughs are empty. Yes, I do laugh at certain jokes but deep inside they're just empty. Empty, cold, alone, abandoned.. just like myself. Shouldn't I be happy though? After all, haven't I somewhat gotten what I've always wanted? Before I used to want to be forgotten by everyone yet now I wish the contrary. I want to enjoy my time on this planet, re-learn what life is; to live once more. Yet I have no one to do anything of the sort. I have no one that cares enough about me to do so. To just spend some time with me having fun, hanging out or just even talking. Right now I'd really like someone I could trust. Someone that could be right in front of my face; someone I can see. Someone I could feel.
I shouldn't take little things as seriously.. that's what I've been told and it is true. But is this truly small? Was she really just a speckle in my universe? Maybe in the world she was - but not in my world. In my world she is everything. She is my life. And now my life is running away from me. I've been stripped of it for reasons unknown to even myself.
Dead dreams; it all feels like she's just dead now. I guess that in a way I was wrong when I used to say I've never experienced any loss in my life by death. Yet now I know how it feels. Even though she is not dead. In my mind she is. And so have I. I've been killed. I have died the day she told me it was over. Now I'm barely the shadow of myself. A new former self. Changing and always changing. Will it ever stop? Do I even want it to stop?
I'm a quick healer by nature. Yet this wound will never heal. I am slowly re-learning myself yet I'm not myself anymore. I'm dead. But now.. is this truly the end?
A whole new worlds awaits me. New experiences await me - so much could just happen.
All memories just get good with time, don't they? sth.
"One day you'll ask me what is more important; you or my life. And I'll answer my life. You'll then turn around and walk away never knowing that you are my life."
Vanilla Sky · Sun May 08, 2005 @ 06:21am · 0 Comments |
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TAKE A CHANCE ON ME LYRICS |
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It's somewhat sad, isn't it? |
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Seems like it will always happen. And whenever it happens I will always get this feeling. The cause is simple, the problem is simple but it always trigger this little feeling of sadness within me. Truth be said, most people just stop caring at one point or another. I find it sad. Not just when it happens to me, not just when it happens to other, but even when it happens to me. I guess all of us just lose hope eventually. But I think that friendship should go beyond this. A good and true friendship. If that still even exists. Someone shouldn't stop because it seems hopeless. Even if it is impossible. Even if it is good to admit defeat once in a while - you can't give up. If you admit defeat without even trying then there's no poing trying. What's the point with going with an idea already lost? Hope.. such a beautiful yet fragile thing. What is hope really? Is it a feeling, a thing, an emotion, a person, or maybe even just a thought?
So many things resolving against friendship lately. It's driving me nuts! Mended friendship, withering friendship, ebbing friendship, new friendships and another that I cannot name. Yet what is friendship? And what is a relationship? Is it not a simple extension of friendship - an extension of feelings? Feelings let free. Isn't the base of all good relationship a good friendship? Yet how do you know it is time? How do you know you are ready? So many questions yet so little answers. So little time to answer them all, too.
In anycase, got any advices? Wait.. who's even reading this?
Vanilla Sky · Sat Apr 30, 2005 @ 04:49am · 0 Comments |
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Thousand Mile Wish Lyrics
Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry
This time alone could never cause any doubt
But I've been cold too long
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain
With all the holes my love,
To fill up from the middle
This storm could stay all night
So can you stay until we close our eyes
Til your dreams hold mine
Just stay until we know we tried one more time
Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they'll go on and they won't let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?
Can it stay until we know ourselves?
I'm torn as I tell
You're the story that I know and fell from
I'm so far into your story I don't know why
We think we're in control
When we lie between the lines
We'll find a line to follow
It's got to show real soon
Or we'll never each this high
We climb a little further
Cause there's nothing we can't get around together
Further gets colder until nothing was all that I saw around
So we stay until the ground
That we can't come down from splits us away
Maybe stars know why we fall
I just wish they were thinking out loud
Oh, I could wish all night
Vanilla Sky · Sun Apr 24, 2005 @ 09:38am · 0 Comments |
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"Shiver"
You build me up
You knock me down
Provoke a smile
And make me frown
You are the queen of runaround
You know it's true
You chew me up
And spit me out
Enjoy the taste
I leave in your mouth
You look at me
I look at you
Neither of us know what to do
[Chorus:]
There may not
Be another way to your heart
So I guess I'd better find a new way in
I shiver when I hear your name
Think about you but it's not the same
I won't be satisfied 'till I'm under your skin
Immobilized by the thought of you
Paralyzed by the sight of you
Hypnotized by the words you say
Not true but I believe 'em anyway
So come to bed It's getting late
There's no more time for us to waste
Remember how my body tastes
You feel your heart begin to race
[Repeat chorus x3]
"Sweetest Goodbye"
Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you comeback
I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel
Vanilla Sky · Thu Apr 21, 2005 @ 03:49am · 0 Comments |
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Just why the hell did you have to leave like this?! I need you. Why.. just why damn it.
Where's my angel when I need it? Why am I always the one alone just when I need help? Why isn't there anyone who can help me?! Just why did you have to leave.. the girl I love, the girl of my dreams, the girl I cared for more than anyone else on this damn planet! What happened to you!?! just...help....
Vanilla Sky · Thu Apr 21, 2005 @ 02:20am · 0 Comments |
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