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Martin heart
So.. First entry for three years. Erm, where to start...
People seem to be mad at me today. My best friend in school, my mom, even my fiancé. He left me a text this morning saying "have a good day" - and that's all I've heard today. What did I do? Was it something I said? What is going on? confused
I actually just feel like going to sleep, but I can't. It's too early. Soo I'm just wandering 'round the forums, tryinga reach the 10k post achievement. I have like 300 posts to go.
Mh yeah, suppose that's it.
//Out
 LurkingShadowCreature · Thu Nov 18, 2010 @ 04:59pm · 0 Comments |
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I hate him. I simply hate him. I hope you die! Stupid stupid STUPID. I told my best friend to tell him I'm dead, if he should ask her about it. I want absolutely nothing to do with him. That jerk. Idiot. Think he's so smart, and perfect, while blaming everything on me.
Why am I bleeding for you ? Why do I have to turn homocidal again ? You said you'd never leave me..but you did. I cannot express my feelings in the right way.
All I have left to say is, that I am still bleeding for you.
LurkingShadowCreature · Fri Nov 16, 2007 @ 11:37am · 1 Comments |
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Why ...?
Why is there such thing as suicide ? And why did he have to do it ? Why now ? I ******** loved him ... I LOVED HIM !! crying Why couldn't he just have talked to me ? Why not tell me ? Let me help him ? Why ..? cry
I knew I should've kissed him last time we met .. But I didn't. Cause I thought he didn't want me to. I knew I shoul've told him, how much I loved and cared for him .. But now it's too late. cry He's gone. And he's not coming back.
Oh, how I wish he'd call me back, telling me that he didn't do it. It's not his first try, but all of the other times, all that kept him from doing it, was me. ME. And now there's nothing I can do about him. I don't even know where the ******** he was before he commited suicide ! Maybe he's lying around somewhere, where no one'd ever even think about searching for him.
His family threw him out of the house. They didn't even care what the ******** ever happened to him; THEY DIDN'T CARE !!?
Jackie, damnit .. You can't die. You're not allowed to. I love you... I love(d) you. I really hope you're still out there somewhere. I know that you'd never get to read this, but I'd wish you did. You mean so much to me, you were my best friend.
I can't say much else than .. Hope your pain ended the same time as your life did. emo
LurkingShadowCreature · Wed Feb 28, 2007 @ 03:31pm · 0 Comments |
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Oh yes !!
No school, cause there's so much snow, that we can't get out of the house !
It's been snowing since yesterday, and the only thing that actually can drive outside is the militarian tanks whee
I've been dreaming about this for soo long, and then it finally happens biggrin My grandma can't open her door, cause of the snow O:
So yay, no school today mrgreen
LurkingShadowCreature · Thu Feb 22, 2007 @ 06:09am · 0 Comments |
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I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
LurkingShadowCreature · Wed Feb 14, 2007 @ 04:35am · 0 Comments |
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crying crying crying crying
I'm crying myself to death, I hate myself, can't stop smoking, slitting, crying, I'm so ******** sick of it all !! gonk crying I can't take it anymore !! I wanna slit my wrists untill I die .. cry I want to end this life ...
LurkingShadowCreature · Mon Feb 05, 2007 @ 05:24pm · 0 Comments |
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gonk gonk Okay, so here's what happened:
My dad was at the hospital for two days, my lil'sis is annoying, I'm mad. I don't think it's necessary to mention the other stuff.
The good stuff:
Got Final Fantasy VII
I'm close to being vegatarian, finally. I only eat fish now. Getting closer, whee.
LurkingShadowCreature · Sat Feb 03, 2007 @ 02:46pm · 0 Comments |
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Oh man !! Could it get any worse !!? My dad's sick (he might be going to the hospital crying ), my rabbit's sick, our car is broke, we nearly crashed 'cause of the icy roads .. WTF is happening ? gonk Why is this happening to us ? gonk ALWAYS US !! WHYYY !! gonk
LurkingShadowCreature · Sat Jan 27, 2007 @ 10:17pm · 0 Comments |
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okay, so right now I'm sick. Yay for me stare Gotta clean up my rabbits cage, let it walk around in the house, feed it, hug it heart
Saving up for my dream avi (go to my profile for more info) - still a long way to go xp
 <--- The movie I'm forced to see tomorrow burning_eyes
LurkingShadowCreature · Fri Jan 26, 2007 @ 11:40am · 0 Comments |
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