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I'm a nun. |:
BOO
IT IS I.
AREESA-CHAN!

<3333


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Tue Dec 12, 2006 @ 05:00am · 1 Comments
I'm watching American Beauty.
I drew some pretty.. um.. Stress relieving pictures last week. They mean alot to me. I might put them on my wall, however I don't want me dad to see them. I've done my homework today. I haven't played cello though. I made my first .gif. I'll probably play guitar tonight if I don't cut or something.

Right now, though. I have to pee.

Whatever happened to Caroline?
I'm in that state of mind where nothing's happening so I want to hurt myself. Last time I was like this.. well.. last time I hurt myself.. it was the start of when I fell in love with Max.. and I didn't want to feel it anymore. Then I gave up on that.. And the last time I felt like nowhere... it turned to s**t. I was put in one of the worst places I've ever been. As much as I can think right now, that was the second worst feeling I've ever felt.. I mean, I didn't try killing myself that time, but that was because Alyssa was there. Not that I wouldn't have failed at it that time like I did last time. I think that's the only way I can kill myself. But.. I mean, other than slitting my wrists down the road... it's just so painless to swallow some pills. Or drink medication like last time. I only have extra strength tylenol in here.. like that'd do anything.. Jeff told me once that he took 9 asprins and that he was fine. He said he was little high, but fine. I wish I still had Cristina's pills. Godbless her pointless soul. She's sweet. She's all I have. And I'm all she has. Of course, we're not including Alyssa and DJ. DJ reminds me of max... Alyssa doesn't count, because she's part of me. DJ's not a part of her yet.. so I guess I'm not all she has anymore. That's okay. She said that if I kept hurting becaus eof DJ then she'd leave him. DJ's 19, tall, blond, not skinny, has blue eyes, and a low voice. DJ's got pouty lips. Sometimes he wears these attachable pigtail dreds.. but I guess his real hair is normal length. I don't know. he's nice. He's really lovely to her. I've read their text messages. One time, in the morning, he sent her a "<3" on her cell phone. That's so beautiful.
I remember looking at the box for American Beauty alot when I was little and wanting to watch it but knowing my mom wouldn't let me. I don't know what's to happen. Adella and I watched this movie together in our room. I loved that summer camp. We were so nice to eachother just so that we didn't have to sit alone. Then Brian would talk to me and I would listen. it wouldn't matter to him. I expected it would. No one ever listens to me. But I guess he gets that alot. I was kind of paying attention this week at school, about how many times I'd be talking to someone and they'd interupt me, or start talking to someone else, or start doing something else. It happened alot. The only time someone stopped someone else to let me finish talking was when I was with Cristina, sometimes Brynn... and I guess that's it.. I don't talk to that many people.. Dabin's.. Dabin's... I don't know.. she doesn't make much of an imprint.. Maggie doesn't care about me. She even pointed out to me that she doesn't know anything about me and I don't know anythign about her and yet I keep talking. We just keep talking... for four years straight, and it's just talking. She atleas pronounces Alyssa's name right.
It's fun for me to think about all the things I can do in life. I can leave LVA.. go to Clarke... Drop out at 16, have a baby, and shoot myself. That's a choice I love to think about. It would be so much more fun that what I'm making myself do. It seems out of my reach to just.. drop out and work at a retail store. I have to go to college, I have to get my scholorships.. I didn't like the interview I went to today for college aid. It didn't feel good. The lady said that I was the first student to say that I wanted to be a Record Label Owner. I was the only one I saw there from LVA. But then I've only been at LVA for two months. What good does that do.
There's an LVA guild on gaia.. "LVA Hangout" I recommend anyone to join. If you need majors or people to know or something, let me know. I totally want to crash their party with a load of non LVGays.
I hate how boring I am. I'm sitting here.. not doing anything.. I used to make clothes, or draw, or make stuffed animals.. maybe I should work on my halloween costume.. If I had film I'd take pictures.. Maybe I should play guitar.
I could quit playing guitar.
I didn't get into the talent show. I'm not in a happy place with my guitar right now.
I'm glad I have nothing to do tomarrow. No where to go. I can really sleep in. And I can do my french homework and Geometry homework.
I think I'm done.
I love you Alyssa.


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Sun Oct 22, 2006 @ 07:14am · 2 Comments
I hate everything so much right now.
So goddamn much.
I hate you.
Die.
Nevermind, wait until I murder you.


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Mon Oct 16, 2006 @ 05:56am · 0 Comments
They Ran Away on Roller Skates.
I'm writing a story, with that as the title. ^
It's sorta really long.

If I get bored or the time or something, then I'll type up some of it.
I'm completly editing it. I've been writing it for a year, and so the characters change darasticly withing five pages of eachother. <3
I don't know.. Today's gonna get alot better than it was.
I'm mixing pills right now.
And later I'm going to the lip sync with Alyssa.
MMm, worshipers.
You know what's a good song?
Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek

Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears,
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah off course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it’s just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.

However, it's not the words that are so damn awesome, it's the was they're sung. If you've heard it, then you'll know what I'm talking about.


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Wed Oct 11, 2006 @ 11:58pm · 0 Comments
Aww
My dad asked me today if I did my homework. That's the first time he's ever done that out of the blue. Otherwise he might somtimes say it if I'd been bitching about my homework earlier that day. He just popped it on my when I was going to shower and go to bed. He blocked me with his leg and stared me down til I asnwered.

Yah, that's all.

I'm bringing my laptop to school tomarrow.

:/


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 05:56am · 0 Comments
I can't sleep.
I'm on the floor.
I have to wake up to go to school in four hours.
I've tried all sorts of things.
I can't go out to get water, because it'll wake the baby.
If my dad finds me, I'm dead.
I tried going under the bed, but it didn't work. I might try again.
...
Nope, still won't work.
Stupid ******** text books, and bass amp, and luggage.
Time for the 'ol 'quilt-over-head' thing.
Now if he catches me I'm REALLY dead, because he knows that I knew it was wrong and had tried to hide it. He probably won't find out though. If I hear his door open or the baby cry I'll put the computer asleep or some s**t.
Look, if anyone's awake or whatever, PM me. I need something to do.
I'm not sure what's on my mind or what's not..
well, I knnw one thing that's on my mind, but that's usually there. Maybe more so today..
Sigh.


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Mon Sep 11, 2006 @ 09:05am · 1 Comments
LOLIVEJOURNAL.
So, yeah. I've been on LiveJournal for awhile now, instead of using gaia.
But I'm not gonna give you the link.
'Cos I talk smack on half of you in it.
Just kidding.. actually it's because I don't post there anymore.

But hey, I got a laptop. W00t. Now I can accidentally stay up until wee hours of the morning havin gheart wrentching arguements with Allyboo.
<3, baby.

Umm.. I'm making art again..

I'm helping Cristina. She might ask me to attend therapy with her.

OHOHOHOH
I'M IN SOMEONE'S MANGA.
JHANNA
IT'SAWESOMENESS.
OMG.

So, I'm Meranie.. I think.. I'm not sure. Anyways, in the manga, I'm part of the "Grim Lovers" assasine, thing, with "Dark" akaAlyssa. Umm... Jhanna is this 20 year old something German Girl that's the hotness at drawing.

So yeh..

I'ma go... read up on something.. for english.. ******** school.


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Mon Sep 11, 2006 @ 03:54am · 0 Comments
******** YOU. I'M NOT EDITING IT. D&lt;
You probably won't get this unless you were there, since we keep switching names.

CONVOOO

Lady Jellyton says:
YOU SAID YEAH
Sir Fishbowl says:
TO THE FACE PART
Lady Jellyton says:
Nuh-uh!
Lady Jellyton says:
Lady Jellyton says:
And penir.
Sir Fishbowl says:
and yeah
Lady Jellyton says:
Har.
Sir Fishbowl says:
I was typing and yeah to the face thing
Sir Fishbowl says:
AND U PUT THAT FIRST
Sir Fishbowl says:
AND I DIDN'T SEE IT
Sir Fishbowl says:
TIL I HIT ENTER
Sir Fishbowl says:
b***h
Sir Fishbowl says:
GAH
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
^____^
Sir Fishbowl says:
*goes pissy*
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
I love you too
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
xDD
Sir Fishbowl says:
OH WTF
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
xDDDD
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
I love you. <3
Can't predict the weather. says:
xDD
Jelly flicks eye boogers and can't blow her nose says:
^__^
Can't predict the weather. says:
It's okay, a cut up penir is sexy, I'm sure.
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
I think he hates me now.
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
..
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
O_O
Jordan cuts his penir. says:

Can't predict the weather. says:
xDD
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
THATS NO FAIR
Jelly flicks eye boogers and can't blow her nose says:
AHAHA
Jelly flicks eye boogers and can't blow her nose says:
AHAHHAAHAH
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
xDDDDDDDDDDDD
Jelly flicks eye boogers and can't blow her nose says:
*is lalughing so harD*
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
We need one about Murani, now.
Can't predict the weather. says:
xDD
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
....Got anything on her, jor?
Jelly flicks eye boogers and can't blow her nose says:
murani and her hair
Jordan cuts his penir. says:
xDD
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
^_^
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
>>
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
<<
Jelly flicks eye boogers and can't blow her nose says:
XDDD
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
=D She'sa gonna kill me.
Can't predict the weather. says:
:/
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
Think of one Jordan!
Can't predict the weather. says:
How is that bad?
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
You choppity, Miss.
Can't predict the weather. says:
People like that kind of hairstyle nowadays.
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
That's true.
Murani = Chop Chop Cut says:
*sigh*
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
I did
Can't predict the weather. says:
Lets make a whayt?
Can't predict the weather. says:
Ahh.
Can't predict the weather. says:
DUD
Can't predict the weather. says:
E
Can't predict the weather. says:
IT WAS A JOKE!
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
I know
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
XDDD
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
xD
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
WHOA
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
lmao
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
we're so cruel
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
xDDD Yes, Yes we are.
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
I now htink it was a funny joke, so now its my name
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
BWHAHAHA
Alyssa still stains her panties, and Jordy has sex with his brother. says:
D<
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
;;
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
not like anyone knows who the ******** yo are
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
xDDD
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
She pwned us
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
>>
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
AHHAHA
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
xDDD
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
AWESOME
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
ITS NOT MY FAULT THE BLOOD MOVES MISSY
Fruitcake: "Oooh, lets make a homemade bong!" says:
Got me there
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
xDDDDDDDDDdd
Alyssa still stains her panties, and Jordy has sex with his brother. says:
XDDD
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
yep. She got us by the balls.
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
;;
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
*sobs*
Murani can't predict the weather. says:
<<
Alyssa still stains her panties, and Jordy has sex with his brother. says:
I'm laughing my a** off
Alyssa still stains her panties, and Jordy has sex with his brother. says:
I love winning.
Alyssa still stains her panties, and Jordy has sex with his brother. says:
Oh no, sister.
Buckle Up says:
<<
Buckle Up says:
Yush
Buckle Up says:
X_X
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
^__^
Buckle Up says:
I do!
Buckle Up says:
*clings to Jordan*
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
lol
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
=D
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
XDDDDDDDDDDD
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
AHAHHAHA
Alyssa still stains her panties, and Jordy has sex with his brother. says:
I always wanna sleep with JORDAN!
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
Unlike me.
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
and I always wanna sleep with my bros
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
xDDD
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
xD
MMMMJordan sex! Why, hello there, STD! says:
Oh gross!
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
I always want to sleep alone
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
;;
MMMMJordan sex! Why, hello there, STD! says:
Sicko
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
XD
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
how is htat sick
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
STD
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
xDDD
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
xD
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
YOU CANNOT USE MY CHARCTERS MISS
MMMMJordan sex! Why, hello there, STD! says:
" I always wanna sleep with my bros"
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
just cuz I got raped
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
*steals STD*
MMMMJordan sex! Why, hello there, STD! says:
YOU LIKED IT
MMMMJordan sex! Why, hello there, STD! says:
OVER
MMMMJordan sex! Why, hello there, STD! says:
AND OVER
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
depends on the day
So Mel wants to sleep with me..*bwhaha's* Who doesn't? xD says:
XD
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
<< Oh dear.
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
xDDDD
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
Dude
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
As soon as my sister gets home, she sits down and flops over
Mel wants to have Hawk's babies says:
XD
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
;;
MMMMJordan sex! Why, hello there, STD! says:
Ewww
Mel wants to have Hawk's babies says:
XDDD
My sister wants to eat Jordan. says:
xD
Mel wants to have Hawk's babies says:
U AGREED TO IT


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Thu Jul 20, 2006 @ 09:16pm · 0 Comments
Cookies are for ME.
Hot DAMN if that OK Go thing with the dancing isn't awesome!!
My kitty keeps jumping into my lap even though he's making me sick.
I wanna steal my dad's camcorder [OMG I JUST REALISED HOW THAT WORD CAME ABOUT] and make a movie. owo YEEEAH.
Yo' a million ways to be cruel. I always liked OK Go, but I thought they were like the hives... Guess they're more like P!AtD.
I'm getting Alyssa to get me that 'elegant veil' thing.. it'd be so much easier if she's just send three bucks.. no, she's gonna poll, and get donations, and make art. D:
I watched all of Advent Children. D:
Oh god.. I've got soooo many items.
I wonder how I should give the items away when I quit gaia?
Meh, I don't know.
This gay boy at McDonalds made fun of me yesterday. It was funny.
I've got too many guilds.
I've also got lots of pictures, though I probably won't upload them for awhile.
Awww.
Mmkay, so my cat wants more ******** attention. So I'll probably go now.
THERE'S A SHRINE OF MY ON ALYSSA'S PROFILE. AUGHJFES.

YOUR MISSION.
Write letters.
To me, or to anyone eslse.

YOUR REWARD.
Art. Or another letter, with art in it, most likley.

Write me a ******** letter.


Post Permanent Link Lyf Ling · Tue Jul 18, 2006 @ 07:37pm · 1 Comments
Lyf Ling
Community Member
Lyf Ling
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