Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Im really starting to take the thoughts of suicide seriously now... I remember just last week I set up the noose in my room, stared at it for almost a half an hour just thinking. My existance is not really that important... Im not special in any way... Im cared about, I'll be missed but the world will go on. It always does. Then I heard everyone's voices, I flashbacked to the special moments that I had with every person Ive ever met in my life. Then Cara, her voice... It made me start to cry. In anger of how stupid I'd been to even think about suicide moments before I tore down the rope. I threw myself against the wall hitting it and asking in vain "why? Why do I do these things?" I stumbed into the bathroom after getting a better hold on myself and stared into the mirror at a person with a red tear stained face who showed weakness all over. I felt like punching the mirror, I couldn't stand to look at it. Im not going to give in so easily, I try not to even think about it.