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The Compost
A place for my thoughts, quearies, random rants and eternal complaints about my job.
Concert crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok got another concert out of the way. Our think Lincoln noon concert was with chambor choir today. Oi ci wa wa!!! It went really well, I got so hot though in that crowded space. March is just the month of stuff to do. I still have two more concerts and a recording session to get through flawlessly. Plus there's Matt's Musical this Saturday biggrin biggrin biggrin If I were a rich man...Diviviviviviviliposuctiondivivivi..

*ahem*

Anywho, I got a few e mails from my mummy and we're going to see cats this month as well. She and Jena and Dad came to visit after Jena WON 4th (an is going to STATE biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin ) at Solo & Ensemble. They spent the night- mom and dad got a hotel room- and came to church with me the next morning. The choir really had a great anthem- we blew people over razz it was a chorus from the Elija and oh...mah Agod!!!
Then after an hour long octet practice I met up with Leion Mom and Jena at the Forestry museum outside the zoo. If you take the MAX it drops you off in a Tunnel COOL!!! The museum was pretty much like an upgrade of the Dalles Discovery museum. Was REALLY fun. We took pictures in a white water rafting simulator. Then the mall and then super long-hard-fabuloud concert.

Tonight I'm not getting home until late again but this time by choice. I could get home earlier than 8pm but I really want to make sure Leion gets home allright so I'm going to go meet him at his school tonight. He pulled an all nighter last night spending most of the time coding for his final htmlm dream weaver project. He gave me a really great back massage last night too. I cracked EVERYWHERE razz I think I'll return the favor <3

Ciao


Hunnnnnngreeeeeeeeee
I'm hungry ;___;

Yesterday was Monday catching up to me on a wednesday. God Awful. The only good thing about it was when I got to clean my room a bit and do some major cardio in the gym. And when Leion got home *cough* The rest of the day was friggen awful. Not even choir or voice lesson could get me out of my funk. Espesially voice lesson...Professor Dobson had to look at my transcripts. It caught me off guard so me explaining to her why it's going to take me an extra year or two to graduate really made me feel like a complete moron and a failure. Plus we're just starting to get into French repituore...it's so aggrivating. My mouth is used to Italian and German but mostly Italian. French feels alien and frustrating. Plus it didn't help that Lieon and I had been tense the last few days. Nothing really big- just over worked , over pressured and under sexed and under rested. We haven't been happy campers for the past week and we finally snapped the other day at each other. So Basically Yesterday was poo poo. Last night was a definet improvement and Today is getting there.

Since our showering was done last night we were able to sleep until 7 this morning and just kind of throw ourselves together. I had a breakfast bar while we were rushing out the door. The walk to the Max was actually refreshing today instead of butt a** cold. The trees are starting to bud which promises me some friggen SPRING biggrin It turns out I missed out on learning 3 new 7th chords and 5 modes in Sightsinging last week *kill me with a spoon* but I don't think I missed any tests. I just have a slow day of no real classes until 4pm. So Italian flash cards and practice room it is. *sigh* I'll get to see Leion tonight after Church choir practice at least.

I think lately the weight of the reality of what I am embarking on has been heavy. I keep getting nervous all the time. While cleaning yesterday I found an old letter from my Grandparents. It was just a Christmas card but it's contents reminded me that so many people in my life have alot emotionally invested in my success...not just me. So many people will be dissapointed if I don't make it in some way. I just wanted a small career, nothing large. I don't know if it will be enough.

Anywho enough obsessing. Time to get to work *sigh* ...after a lil' chit chat with Fiance razz

Ciao


Sunshineeeeee day!!!
I can see clearly now the rain has gone...for a while anyways razz

This morning I had a midterm...yet another yes yes, but it wasn't until 10:20 am so Leion and I decided to take it easy this morning. Oh we still awoke at the butt crack of dawn to shower and get ready but we got going a bit later and had time to get a breakfast sammich from Matt at Subway and For me to get a bucket of Coffee this morning. Our Max ride to school was considerably less crowded since we came after the morning rush hour group and it's beautiful outside AND COLD biggrin

I aced my midterm biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin Sightsinging is gonna be a big fat loverly A for Anna this year!!! I swear I've been so incredibly busy that I forgot what a nice light work day was like. Today is one of those days I think. I don't have any musical rehearsal for Opera Workshop today. I'm meeting with our director though to go through some staging at 3 though- but seriously it's a piece of cake. I have a noon concert to watch and my church job tonight...but that's all there is!!! *gasp* I have hours to practice my music at leisure. I'm even going to kick back and make some flash cards for Italian...such an easy day I don't know what to do with myself...

Last night was the first evening I had to myself in ages. Twas loverly...I just changed into my sweats after I got home from the max station and ate raviolis and surfed online and watched a bit of TV. I got a load of laundry done but that's all. It was very relaxing. Although for the past few days I've been a little too eaty. I got to a bad start for February diet wise. I think all the deprivation of snackies in January made me food crazy. mmmmm cookies. I'm not too worried though. I weighed myself for the first time in like ...I dunno a year (maybe not a whole year...more like a handful of months but it feels like a year acuz I hate weighing myself and never do razz ) and I'm 20 lbs lighter!!!! I know it was probably painfully gradual acuz I haven't noticed a huge change in my appearance other than feeling nicer in my cloths and a size down in pants than I usually wear, but it felt like All that watching myself and power pedestrian-ness of January paid off. *sigh* I'm going to weigh myself in March to see my real progress but I'm basking in it for the time being.

It's flippin gorgious outside. If it weren't so friggen cold I think I'd make my flash cards outside in the grass. I wish Leion could be here to share the sunshine with me but alas he has classes all day *pout* I won't see him until he gets to pick me up from my church job tonight at 9:30 *double pout* I swear by Grabthar's Hammer that boy isn't going to have night classes next term!!!!

Anyhwho...so little to do so much time...

Ciao


Depression sinks in
I think the worst part of depression is that no matter how much you don't want to be depressed in your normal state of mind once it sets in you tend to want it more. I was a b***h at work today...heh more so than usual anyway sweatdrop Everything just feels bleak and I just want to stay in bed all the time. Leroy cleaned a bit though so that's something nice right?...BUT OMFG JOYGASM eek eek eek
LEROY FOUND ME THE PINAPPLES IN THE CAN AND SAJKGHWERJHGWENGA';LASMKFA;JKNGIPAWETPEWKGJ;RNG;LWERNGEWR(^&^$t@fekWNHU#%78#%mU&<*ejwlmtgQEKJBFG!!!!!!
biggrin domokun biggrin domokun biggrin domokun biggrin xd domokun biggrin xd domokun I love comfort fooooood!!! heart heart heart heart heart heart


*&$%#@!
******** f scream uck ******** gonk ******** ******** stressed ******** scream ******** scream ******** gonk ******** stressed ********... scream
I had a bad day stare


A walk in the rain
You know I could just type here the problems I had today, the termoil and the frustration I went through and put Leroy through but instead of dwelling on that I want to dwell on a nice realisation that a simple walk in the rain made everything for the moment a little better. Maybe it was the fresh air or the rain or the endorfins or maybe it was just Leroy's company...I think it was that but I'm going to go to sleep a little lighter..well not physically any who. Plus I'm not pregnant like I thought that's a definate plus!! biggrin


Balls
My grandpa had a stroke the other day...I'm really scared especially since my grandma and grandpa are both christian scientists...meaning no doctors sweatdrop I'm afraid he'll die which starts the domino effect of all my relatives in the age dying. My life is so hectic and trying as it is and now there will be death on top of it all. I just want to go to sleep for a week.


Finals
God this week i have finals and two classes I barely attended 3 performances a late entry paper for class and work and ...*has a stroke and goes to bed*


Full circle
I hate being lied to. It hurts me especially when Leroy does because I always trust what he says to be true only to find out later it was all bull s**t he says to make me feel better. He was talking to Kelsey today...last night he said he felt alone because he didn't have any of his old friends...I guess I'm just not enough...and now after telling me over and over she's not important to our lives at all he says he misses her...I'm holding his exacto knife and I know exactly what I want to do with it. don't think i can resist this ******** it.


Annabobanna
Community Member
Annabobanna
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