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Another post in a month! This must be a record. |
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Well, it's not like I have anything to say. I just post because I can. Because I'm bored. And because there's nothing happening on Gaia for me anymore. It seems like I'm just floating about, not taking part in any of the things I used to enjoy. They've lost their flavor. Oh Well.
Anyone reading this anyway?
If you do, Watch ODD JOB JACK! I work on that show. LOL!
 Kuraya · Fri Aug 26, 2005 @ 01:35am · 0 Comments |
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I've hardly been online since April... Well, that's kinda lying. I've been SPORADICALLY online. That means pretty much every day, but for like 1-10 mins at a time. The reason? I got a new job! My DREAM job! I'm so happy that I think I might be able to stop taking those Happy Pills!
I'm an animator now! I work at a company called FatKat Studios, which specializes in flash animation. We do shows, advertizing, everything! The hours can be a little crazy, but I'm so in love with this job that I don't care!
Well, that's all I gotta say.
Happy happy! rofl rofl rofl rofl 4laugh rofl lol
Kuraya · Wed Jul 27, 2005 @ 02:02am · 0 Comments |
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So yeah, I haven't written on here in a looong time, it seems. Ever since my husband got fired, which was like two weeks ago. I've been very remiss in my internet duties (if they can be called that).
An update: My computer is up and running again, but I've started to expect the breakdown, which should occur within a few days. If it passes the week-long mark, then I will start to be optimistic. The crummy thing is that we've had to get a screen that is one model down, because they had RUN OUT of our usual model. So now I've got this white flatpanel instead of the sleek, nifty black one I used to. But as long as it works, who cares. I just want to say that if this one banks it too, I will be seriously, SERIOUSLY angered.
Another update: I miss Dej! I haven't seen her or her boyfriend in over two or three weeks, maybe more! Since before Halloween, even! I was thinking of going over there last Sunday, but we ended up just vegetating at home like we always do. It's the cat that annoys me, I always get stuffy after a few hours... But she's such a cute lil critter. So we're trying to consider going to visit them on Thursday. Dej, if you see this, look forward to it! twisted
Yet another update: I might be getting myself a job. It would be the same job as my roomate Jay, so it would be very simple for the drive to work; I always take her there anyway. Might as well stay and earn some moolah. So it's a night job, from 6 to 2AM, just about. Overtime is sometimes necessary, but it gets paid time and a half. Good pay... And Irving is a good company to work for. Plus, data entry is easy work... You get to listen to music all night and just type stuff. Ah yeah. I'll find out if I got it or not later this week. I'm rather sure I got it. They made me pee in a cup for that job! Who ever heard of a drug test for data entry workers?! Oh well. LOL!
As you can see, I'm in a good mood today. Things are going good. My panic was unfounded, at my husband's firing. He's going to collect employment insurance, a good amount per month... and he got a huge severance pay. So we should be good for paying all the bills, and even have money left over for ourselves. As a gift to him, since he's been so good working when I was always slacking off at home with depression or lack of job or a combination of both, I've offered him this deal: If I get the job as Data Entry, he gets to stay home and slack off and not even look for work until like, February. He deserves it. ^_^
Well, that's enough from me today. I need to play some more Yoshi's Island! Yes, you heard me. I'm an old skool gamer. biggrin
Kuraya · Wed Nov 24, 2004 @ 03:56am · 0 Comments |
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I woke up around 10, and headed upstairs to ink a drawing I had made yesterday. As I climbed the stairs I noticed that out the window, large snowflakes were slowly drifting to the ground, a beautiful sight. <i>My,</i> I thought to myself, <i>what a wonderful start to a day! Must be a good omen! </i>
Boy, was I ever wrong.
Firstly, we received our computer monitor, finally. It's the third one they send. I think, <i>Oh my, this day really IS going to be good!</i> So I happily trudge downstairs with the huge package and whip out the screen. For the hell of it, I also whip out the new video card they had sent as a replacement, even though I had told them not to, because the problem was not with the card. I install the card, humming happily, and then plug in the monitor....
Nothing.
Once again, a faulty screen had been sent to us as a replacement. I mean, what kind of crummy company are they running, that they can't get their hands on a monitor that WORKS?!
Not to mention that once again, they had gotten our adress wrong so we had to wait an extra week to get the package.
So I call them and throw a hissy fit, and what do they do? They announce that they are OUT of our monitor type! They have to send me one of the PREVIOUS model, and in WHITE instead of BLACK color! scream Never before have I been so angry at a company.
So anyway, you see the state of mind I was in when my husband came home from work two hours early? I was upset, and emotionally unstable. (For me, upset=crying.) I was happy to see him early, sometimes he does that when he works during the lunch hour. So I smile and say, "Honey, you're home! And what's in the bag?" Yes, he was toting a huge shopping bag. I thought, <i>Yay, present! At least something good will happen today!</i>
Once again, wrong.
With a calm, self-depreciating smile, he drops the bag on the couch and takes off his jacket. Jokingly, as always when he comes home early, I ask: "Whatsa matter, honey? Didja get fired?"
"Yes," he says.
I laughed. He says that all the time. But this time, in his voice, there was a little hint of reticent honesty that I chose to ignore. So instead, I open the bag and look at the contents, searching for whatever it is that he bought me. But there is NO present in the bag. Instead there is his CD player, his stack of CDs from work, and a thick letter that informs him of his severance package.
Jaw slack, I sat there and read while he watched. Tears crept into my eyes, and I started to blubber. I didn't know what to say! How are we going to pay for everything?! I lost my job just a few months back and haven't been able to land a new one since, and we needed his entire salary just to stay afloat! How are we... What's gonna... I...
"The company was downsizing," he says consolingly, trying to hold his own tears back. Not because he's worried, mind you, (he never worries) but because he caused ME to cry with his news. "They fired a whole fistful of people today." ...Which makes no sense because online, their company is hiring people like crazy!
He hugged me, and for a long time I just cried there. Logically I have no reason to worry... His severance pay was 9 weeks of work's worth, AND we already had like 5k saved up in case of stormy days... Plus, he's a wonderful programmer and will no doubt find something else. But I couldn't help worrying. There aren't that many good jobs here in my town, especially high-paying ones like the one he had. Perhaps we'll have to move away, to a larger town, like Toronto or Montreal... Maybe we can even finally move to Vancouver like we've always wanted. So it's not a big bad thing, really....
But I still can't stop crying. My nerves are shot. I lost all appetite. I have heartburn from the stress. My head feels all cottony and light. Any minute now I am going to wake up from this nightmare.
...Somebody save me.
Kuraya · Mon Nov 08, 2004 @ 11:10pm · 0 Comments |
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So I've been working like crazy trying to finish a set of illustrations for a children's book. That set is worth a whopping 1800$, and I couldn't wait to get my greedy little hands on it. Well mostly, we're broke and need the money, so it's not really greed at all.
I worked and got up early to be sure I finished on time, so that I could drive the CD over to my editor today. So as I was starting my last illustration, and therefore about an hour away from completion of the project, I decide to call the editor and let her know I'll be dropping by this afternoon.
...
Well, guess what. She's not going to be in the office until monday! Just my luck. This kind of stuff always happens! So we're going to remain broke all weekend!
That is highly depressing.
Kuraya · Fri Nov 05, 2004 @ 04:13pm · 0 Comments |
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I know we're not supposed to, but my husband and I count our anniversary since the day we became an official couple, instead of from the day we were married. After all, the whole wedding thing just felt like a formality to us; we were already living together, we already shared a bank account, we were already living like a married couple! ^_^
So, today is our third anniversary! I am so lucky to have him in my life, and today I get to remember that! We're going to go to a fancy restaurant later tonight, one of those places that end up costing a hundred dollars.... WE're going to rent some X-rated movies after and have a little private party! *lecherous giggle* I'm so bad.
Well there is nothing much else to say about that.
Off I go!
Kuraya · Wed Nov 03, 2004 @ 03:36pm · 0 Comments |
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Yeah. tomorrow is the hella huge Halloween party that we attend every year. And I'm really depressed.
Why, you may ask? Because my roomates are control freaks, and even though the party is not OUR party, Jay thinks she has to control every aspect of it. The result is, she promised she would do a shitload of stuff that isn't done yet, she only has until 5 today to finish everything because after that she has to leave the house, and so she's a nasty ball of bitching. She's taken over the entire kitchen, and as soon as someone tries to get something from the fridge she's hissing and throwing a fit and yelling at us to get out of her ******** way. Result: I can't have dinner, and I can't do the dishes, a fact that she will b***h at me for later. I'm confined to the basement for the entire afternoon, and I'm hungry as hell. sad This sucks.
Her boyfriend D, my other roomate, is confined to the living room. I could be there watching TV and staying out of Jay's way, but she's got the radio on in the kitchen and will freak out if we even so much as disturb her music-listening with the sound of the TV. Besides, D has taken over the whole living room with his sewing project; he's making his halloween costume. Which has to be done for tomorrow. And he only has until 5 to make it, because after that he has to leave the house. So there's cloth and sewing machine things everywhere, and he's trying to figure out how to sew that seam so that it doesn't show... (not very manly.)
I'm hungry. Did I mention that already?
And I wish I could get a ******** job. Then I would be out of this madhouse for at least a little while each day. I miss my husband. I wish he were here, cause then we could just get in the car and go somewhere else. Maybe go EAT. *sigh*
Kuraya · Fri Oct 29, 2004 @ 06:02pm · 0 Comments |
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Nothin happening lately.
My computer is still shot and I have to pilfer time on the roomate's machine if I want to get online. Thankfully I've been on this computer for so long that it's almost like it's mine. I friggin hope my own machine works soon, I miss my keyboard! (sounds weird, I know, but my keyboard is really nice, while my roomate's is the broken-bent kind, hard to get used to...)
Other than that, no new drawings as of late. All my inspiration just oozes out of me as time goes by. You'd think I'd have lots of angsty stuff to draw, but that's not the kind of art I do. Too bad, cause I bet it would help me to get it out on canvas. I just don't have the paint or a well-ventilated area in which to practice my craft. And computer painting just doesn't give the same sense of satisfaction for abstract art, as hands-on. It's an organic feeling thing, I guess.
I still have no job although I apply at least one place a day. Not even ONE call back! Do I really suck so much as a person? I'm starting to give up hope of ever finding a good job of which I can be proud. I suppose it'll be back to call centers for me. Guh, I hate call centers.
On another topic, I've been looking into a few things lately. To buy a house, you need to amass about a 5% down payment! Well, there goes our hope of buying a house this year. Also, I've found out that to be fatal, one would have to ingest at least 35 capsules of Paxil. My bottle, at max capacity, has 60. That means I have a good chance at success if I ever try to poison myself to death. (Although not all people die from overdose. Actually, the largest number of ingested pills of a surviving patient was 33.) I also learned a little about gardening, and am fervently wishing for money so I can start a little porch garden. Not the veggie kind, but the herb and flower kind. It would be really nice to have ivies and wisteria climbing all over the back porch. A little corner of greenery to escape to when the world just sucks balls.
That's about it.
I like the new items! By that I mean both the halloween clothes and the staves (staff, plural?). I think I look cute, and have been pestering people about it all over the threads.
While I'm ranting about threads, here's another thing. I remember a month or more ago when I used to spend like, ALL DAY online, roleplaying and having fun, chatting it up with friends. But lately no one seems to be socializing much anymore. Maybe it's because of school starting up again, but it's been a real bummer. I jump online a little while and immediately get bored and lonely because there is no RP going on. So I hop off. And this continues all day, until I gradually go out of my mind with boredom.
...On yet another note, I'm considering turning myself in to a mental hospital for a while. I need to stop worrying for a while. The stress, the failed expectations, everything drives me crazy. I love my husband and all, but sometimes it's not enough to love someone else. You have to love yourself most of all, you know? And I despise myself thoroughly, so I often don't see the point in continuing to live like this. I know it would hurt my hubby if I died, but it would be the one thing I can do for myself, to help myself. I don't know how to do anything else.
Sometimes though it's not really thoughts of wanting to die that goad me into wanting to do things such as cut myself or ingest a handful of pills. It's just the morbid curiosity of What Would Happen. What Would Happen if I used the katana to cut myself again? Would I bleed too much? Would I be able to cut deeper than before, and see the muscle underneath? Or, What Would Happen if I took all my pills at once and went to sleep in my bed. Would someone find me in time? Would the stomach pump hurt at the hospital? Would I have to be comitted against my will once I recovered enough? There are lots of questions like that going through my head. But for some reason there are SOME things I would never consider doing, such as throwing myself down the stairs, or trying to drown myself. I dunno, it seems a much duller pain, rounder. I prefer the sharp, momentary pain, or sickness. Dull, aching, broken-bone pain is too much for me to imagine inflicting to myself.
Guh. I better stop ranting about this. My husband would kill me. Not litterally, of course.
Kuraya · Thu Oct 28, 2004 @ 07:39pm · 0 Comments |
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Wow, Finally, Notions! and, WOW! |
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We've waited a looooong time, Ruri and I, for our concepts to come out of the woodwork. But now they're here, and they're WOW. They both deserve the fanclub post we've made for them. ^_^ I think I will make a little sig banner saying: "I'm a proud part of the Silbriel and Dakar Fanclub!" With the boys's picture. LOL! Well, they've made their way onto my sig. They'll be staying there for a while. *snugsnug* Lookit them! <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Kamiblah/Sib.jpg"> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v123/Kamiblah/Dakarcopy.jpg">
Kuraya · Mon Oct 25, 2004 @ 12:50pm · 1 Comments |
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