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umm
i was on an icon website. there were all these dumb things about love being an illusion and the word goodbye never made me cry so hard blahblah blaaahh... and i realized i love him. not like a crap icon with that weird font and tiny writing, i really love him. i miss him and i need him. and he never leaves my head. never. im thinking of him now, then, tomorrow, at a movie, whilst seeing ross noble, (he was fantastic by the way) and all through the holiday. i love him so much and i want to shout it out to everyone so much it hurts and well, thats about it really.

im feeling reeeaaallly guilty about trying to dump my boyfriend because he loves me and i know he means it and he rings me every day but i dont love him. and i hate this. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. once more, and.... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. THERE. i still want to shout so loud my voice goes and my hair curls and my windows break along with my heart. he has a girlfriend. he has done for months and shes jamaican and she sings and shes weirder prettier more abnormal more gsjhdfhsodfjrhtoidhfhjuerhoup than me and basically a better person. i love him but i dont think he loves me and it hurts so much my eyes are watering i've been staring at the screen and omg im crying and it hurts inside...goodbie evryone. :*(