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I'm tired of feeling like this. I just want to shut off all emotions and just go back to how I was as a 1950's suburban housewife that hid them away in a glass jar deep inside my subconscious. I just need to remember that when anyone has to make a choice in the matters such as this, they will choose him. If the options were me and him, it will be him. This is exactly why I don't wear my heart on my sleeve, I always some how get hurt.