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Echoing silence haunts me, Sending shivers of pain up my spine. Like droplets of water running down my back, Letting my thoughts and actions intertwine. Tremors run through my body, The loneliness is kicking in. My realization of the time I have left, Causes internal fear to seep through my skin. Drowning out my cries and prayers, Flooding my mind with the fact. That once I leave I can never return, My incision must be exact. No suffering as I commit, This cowards master plan. One slice is all it will take, To end this, where it began...
 Moriko Natsumi · Tue Feb 08, 2005 @ 02:25pm · 2 Comments |
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She runs into her bedroom and slams the door, flicking the lock with a small 'click'. Tears flow down her cheeks rapidly, she turns her sterio on high and still, they are oblivious. A scream escapes her lips, and yet to them, she is silent. To the world, she is invisible. She stares at her drawer, the contents beckoning her, calling her, once more she longs for its sweet embrace. Once more she longs to cry, the crimson tears, constantly flowoing inside. Her pain, her emotions, the never ending ache, flowing throught her body. Constantly she cries the cry of a lost soul, a broken heart. She takes the blade from the drawer, and holds it in her hand/ She rolls up the cotton sleeves of her shirt, revealing shining emblems of the pain she keeps bottle up inside. One last time she will cry, for the first time she will not feel the constant pain she feels each and every day, one last time she will shed the crimson tears she has learned to love, the same tears that have become an all to visible picture in her mind. She swiftly carves her last words into her arm, then with one, last, movement, she places the blade on her wrist, the pressure growing with each and every breath she breathes. The crimson liquid pours as the blade falls to the ground. Her body grows limp, and cold as she stares at the cieling. The room growing darker by the second, soon she will be free, free from the pain, free from the crying, free from the very blade which haunts her dreams, the very blade that has acompanied her throughout all of her painfull nights. She slowly fades into the depths of her mind, the darkness consuming her body, her life, this is her last goodbye.
Tell me whatcha think..
Moriko Natsumi · Mon Feb 07, 2005 @ 03:53am · 1 Comments |
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"Small, simple, safe price
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals
And I am not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to bleed, and ********, and fight.
I want the pain of payment
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted ********
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand ********?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart
Love is not like anything
Especially a ******** knife!"
--The Used "Im a Fake"--
Moriko Natsumi · Thu Jan 20, 2005 @ 03:30pm · 0 Comments |
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welcome to my journal, i guess i will post some stuff about me here and whatever the hell else i feel like posting.
I dont know why i even bother posting here, it's as if i actually think someone would take their time to read it, yeah i know, im a moron, so what...
My name: Brittany
Age: 15
Birthday: January 5th 1990
I live:Sarasota, FL
A little about me:
Well, i am most definately not the most popular person. I guess i tend to be on the sarcastic side at times, but overall im a nice girl once you get to know me, that is, if you can take time out of your busy schedule to acknowledge my existance..I like art,video games, and i guess you can say im sort of a computer geek, mainly because i never have anything else to do.. I have a very small number of friends, all of which havent spoken to me in weeks, for god knows what reasons, most likely yet another thing ive screwed up..I like to write, draw, and i like music..My favorite kind of music is rock, mainly heavy metal, and alternative, but i'll listen to anything except rap--rap is a poor excuse for some poser to attempt to make music..Oh right...one other thing, I'm Bi.....so deal with it..
My favorite quotes:
The demons carress me, the darkness protects me, the light blinded me of your foolish lies - Me
Don't you ever feel that all you trust is a lie and all that you fear is the only truth you'll ever know? - Me
The pain gave me something to set my sights on. - Linkin Park
Moriko Natsumi · Tue Dec 28, 2004 @ 05:59am · 1 Comments |
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I want to cut.
i want to bleed.
i want to hear my body scream.
Its the only thing i know thats real,
The only thing that will ever heal...
Moriko Natsumi · Tue Dec 28, 2004 @ 05:25am · 0 Comments |
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Why can't you,
Take no for an answer.
You're holding on,
Dragging me down faster and faster.
You never listen,
To a word I say.
When I say "leave",
I want you to go away.
My life is perfect,
Well maybe to you.
See it from my eyes,
Walk in my shoes.
My family's great,
Yes they're grand.
But I'm alone,
No one's holding my hand.
I hate myself,
How did I become this.
This abomination,
With scars on her wrists.
I want to cry,
But the tears don't come.
I'm stuck here,
Always feeling numb.
I lay on my bed,
Words spill from my hand.
And my eyes water,
I've had all I can stand.
Sure I'm happy,
Or so I appear.
But inside I'm dying,
To get out of here.
I need someone,
To take my hand.
And guide me through life,
Though I've been damned.
Just hold me close,
Let me cry.
Accept me as I am,
And know I try.
I don't do this,
For the attention.
I'm hurting inside,
I am my own abrasion.
Moriko Natsumi · Tue Dec 28, 2004 @ 05:19am · 2 Comments |
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