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"He was the only man I ever knew who could get money from the rich and votes from the poor with the promise to protect them from each other."
Tommy Douglas, Former Saskatchewan Premier and Leader of the Federal New Democratic Party
 Faya · Sat Feb 18, 2006 @ 06:31am · 0 Comments |
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MARRIAGE, n.
[1] the dawn of romance and the commencement of history;
[2] a word that should be pronounced as "mirage";
[3] an event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left;
[4] a very good way to promote civilization - if you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher {Socrates};
[5] a process much like a cafeteria - you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best - and pay later;
[6] an event which is called "tying the knot" - unfortunately, the knot can be a noose;
[7] a word which always means commitment - but so does insanity;
[8] a ceremony favored in England - it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating;
[9] something that changes the demeanor of a driver - there is no longer any effort needed to keep both hands on the wheel;
[10] the only permanent cure for love;
[11] is only compatible when the man makes a living and his wife makes living worthwhile;
[12] the only adventure open to the cowardly;
[13] something which is called a feast - unfortunately, sometimes the appetizer is better than the main course;
[14] a group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two;
[15] the alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them;
[16] the process that turns a female from an attraction into a distraction;
[17] a legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife;
[18] that ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics;
[19] a rite where two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition until death do them part;
[20] occurs where a man gets hooked by his own line;
[21] in America, is the only legal method of suppressing freedom of speech;
[22] is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of toothpaste;
[23] is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer;
[24] the process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have preferred;
[25] a condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was getting;
[26] the ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can't blame on the government;
[27] a tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually have to pay the divorce lawyer;
[28] is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who tries to come between them;
[29] the continuous process of getting used to things you never expected;
[30] a status which depends upon two to be successful but only one to turn into a failure;
[31] is a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of the pages is prose;
[32] a bargain, and a sensible person understands that someone must get the better of any bargain;
[33] in Japanese is called "Judo" - the art of conquering by yielding. This is the western equivalent of "Yes, dear";
[34] a confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings;
[35] is not a word, but a sentence;
[36] a delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the enemy;
[37] an investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the interest.
Faya · Sat Feb 18, 2006 @ 06:27am · 0 Comments |
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A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman
Faya · Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 12:56am · 0 Comments |
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To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash
Faya · Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 12:47am · 0 Comments |
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This is my motto for my realationship. |
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Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age.
-- Jeanne Moreau
Faya · Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 12:45am · 0 Comments |
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason
Faya · Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 12:42am · 0 Comments |
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Want To Make Your Husband Do Something? |
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The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine
Faya · Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 12:35am · 1 Comments |
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It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen
Faya · Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 12:33am · 0 Comments |
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Devils Dictionary-Ambrose Bierce-Acquaintance |
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Acquaintance-
A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
Faya · Mon Dec 20, 2004 @ 12:29am · 0 Comments |
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