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I haven't even looked at my journal in so long...well...yeah..now I have..so umm...yeah

Well hey....what do you know....I'm left wondering why life sucks right now

Now my scanner doesn't work...*sigh*...and..my brother has yet to fix it..unless he'll happen to use it anytime soon



anyways....I'm kinda feeling like crap right now...there is so much sadness and anger amoung all of my friends lately......nothing involving me...but surly they must realise at one point that thier actions can affect others.....

of course I try my best to help people be happy...but it's just never good enough...it's like they just want to feel that way or something

ehh...I'm not depressed or something like that...mearly aggrivated at all the petty problems that everything is giving me..

ehh..who am I kidding...I'm actually sad....wow..never thought that would happen to me...

*sigh*....I guess even happy cat can get depressed huh?.....oh well...I'm just tired of trying really......I make myself happy through everything...useually because that's how I am...I've shut out all of my other emotions...

but...I'm just tired of keeping a smile.....I just can't put on that veil right now.... -_-

I'm tired of taking s**t from everyone......pretty much,,if you aren't already my friend...then don't piss me off

I hardly believe in such a thing as happiness anymore...But maybe I should talk a little more about what I mean...It's mainly just.that no one really cares what I have to say...Not even my own mother..she told me so just yesterday...so..Now...I've decided not to talk to anyone at home..they already dont listen to me...so why stress myself trying to tell them something....

and really..I know that this will only lead to more problems..but who honestly cares..feeling joy will only lead you down a path to sadness