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	My Journal Lots of random stuff that gets e-mailed to me.
	My Journal Lots of random stuff that gets e-mailed to me.

	Birthday Calendar (Really Cool!!)
	Birthday Calendar (Really Cool!!)


This is kind of cool! Out of all of the billions of people who live in the world, there has got to be somebody born on each date of the year. We are going to try to accomplish the task of seeing if we can fill the calendar up with a birthday on every day of the year. Just post a comment with your date of birth and country and I'll put you up! Let's see if we can do it! Thanks, and Happy Birthday!!! January 1~ Grace M. USA January 2~ January 3~ Amanda!! ~Manderz~ USA! January 4~ January 5~ January 6~ January 7~ January 8~payal patel tx January 9~ January 10~ January 11~ david silva-usa January 12~ Sara Y., Indiana, USA January 13~ January 14~ Caitlin Delaney TX, USA January 15~ January 16~ January 17~Sean L.-USA January 18~ January 19~ January 20~ January 21~ January 22~ January 23~ Jocelyn Thomas USA!!! January 24~ ~>Hillary Hawkins<~* tx, usa babay!! January 25~ January 26~ January 27~ January 28~LaUrEn usa ! wink January 29~ alex-usa brenda-USA January 30~ January 31~ February 1~Tyler USA February 2~ February 3~ Bruce Collins USA February 4~ February 5~ February 6~ February 7~ February 8~ February 9~ February 10~ February 11~erika Greece February 12~ kat-usa, emily-usa February 13~ jenny-usa, hutch-usa, josh-usa, kathleen-usa February 14~ February 15~ maria silva-chile February 16~ jorge silva-chile February 17~ February 18~ February 19~ February 20~ February 21~irene h.-TX-USA heather c.-IN-USA February 22~ February 23~ February 24~ February 25~ February 26~ February 27~ February 28~devon- usa and Bianca-USA, joe-usa February 29~ March 1~ March 2~ March 3~ March 4~ March 5~ March 6~ March 7~ Merline Mathew - tx ,Jessica Stamps-FL March 8~ March 9~ March 10~beth-usa March 11~ March 12~ March 13~ March 14~ March 15~ March 16~ Ashley Rich TX, USofA March 17~ March 18~ March 19~ March 20~ March 21~ March 22~ March 23~ March 24~ March 25~ March 26~ March 27~ March 28~ March 29~ March 30~ madeleine Austria March 31~ April 1~ April 2~ April 3~ April 4~ April 5~ April 6~ April 7~ April 8~ April 9~ April 10~ Kelly L.-USA April 11~ April 12~ April 13~ April 14~ April 15~ April 16~ April 17~ April 18~ April 19~ Ruth C., USA April 20~ April 21~ April 22~ Cindy, USA and Fred USA April 23~Lisa USA April 24~ April 25~ April 26~ April 27~ April 28~ Kelly-texas,usa April 29~ April 30~ May 1~ May 2~ Fiza malik...TX May 3~ May 4~ May 5~ May 6~ May 7~ May 8~ Michelle Rock TX, USA May 9~ May 10~ May 11~ May 12~ May 13~ May 14~ May 15~ May 16~ Kara Yacovoni, USA, Kari Petrelis, USA May 17~Anna Collins, USA, Dothan, AL May 18~ May 19~ May 20~ May 21~Nikos Greece May 22~ May 23~ May 24~ May 25~ May 26~ May 27~ May 28~ May 29~ May 30~ May 31~ June 1~ June 2~ June 3~ June 4~ brian groner.USA. superbowl palace in jacksonville, florida. June 5~ June 6~ June 7~ June 8~ June 9~ June 10~ June 11~ June 12~ June 13~ June 14~ June 15~ Jennifer Rock TX, USA June 16~ June 17~ June 18~ becky mcgill livin' with brian groner in jax, fl in USA June 19~ June 20~ June 21~ June 22~ June 23~ Dallas Rich TX, USA June 24~ June 25~ Jennifer Gao (and Hope, i stole her b-day) TX, er USA, Caitlin Collins USA June 26~ June 27~ June 28~ Brad FL USA June 29~ June 30~ Lyndsi Jolly,IN July 1~ July 2~ July 3~ July 4~ Tiffany, USA =D ^^)!! July 5~ July 6~ Kostas Greece July 7~ July 8~Lucy Collins USA July 9~ July 10~ Kelly usa July 11~ July 12~ July 13~ Savannah D.-- USA wink* ~Shefali P.~---USA July 14~ July 15~ July 16~ Jaclyn H.-USA July 17~ Molly L.-USA July 18~ July 19~ July 20~ July 21~ July 22~ July 23~ July 24~ July 25~ Jordan USA July 26~ July 27~ July 28~ July 29~Sarah-Plano,Texas USA July 30~ July 31~ August 1~ August 2 August 3~ jon-usa August 4~ August 5~ August 6~ August 7~ August 8~ August 9~ jenna usa August 10~ August 11~ August 12~ August 13~Jessica USA August 14~ Ashley J. TX, USA August 15~ Sheri R. TX, USA August 16~ August 17~ August 18~ August 19~ August 20~ August 21~ Jon Collins USA August 22~ Hanna Greece August 23~ August 24~ August 25~Ashley ThomasIndia August 26~ August 27~ August 28~ August 29~ August 30~ August 31~Natalia Mier MD, USA September 1~ September 2~ September 3~ September 4~ roxana-chile, Elyse- USA!!! September 5~ September 6~ September 7~ September 8~ September 9~ Alexis Elliott-USA September 10~ September 11~ September 12~ September 13~ September 14~ Isabel Ramirez--TX-USA September 15~ September 16~ September 17~ September 18~ September 19~ Kate Usa razz September 20~ September 21~ September 22~ September 23~ September 24~ September 25~ Allie USA:TX September 26~ Chae'-USA:IN September 27~ September 28~ September 29~ September 30~ October 1~ October 2~ natalia-usa, October 3~ October 4~ October 5~ Ju lia UsA October 6~ KC-USA October 7~ October 8~ October 9~ October 10~ October 11~ October 12~ October 13~ Emily-usa October 14~ October 15~ October 16~ October 17~ October 18~ missy-usa October 19~ Leah C.--SC, United States October 20~ October 21~ Kylie, USA October 22~ October 23~ October 24~ October 25~ Jazmine, Michelle Sterrett TX, USA! H-USA October 26~ October 27~ October 28~ October 29! ~ October 30~ October 31~ November 1~ November 2~ November 3~ November 4~ November 5~ November 6~ November 7~ November 8~ November 9~ November 10~ November 11~ November 12~ November 13~ Leslie, IN, USA yea!! November 14~ November 15~ November 16~ Rachel! USA! emily~usa, zach-usa November 17~ November 18~ November 19~ November 20~ November 21~ November 22~Trisha- USA November 23~ November 24~ November 25~ November 26~ November 27~ November 28~ November 29~ November 30~ December 1~ MIRIAHMOO-u.s.a, Keith-USA December 2~ Ashland-u.s.a-Florida December 3~ December 4~ December 5~ December 6~ December 7~ December 8~ December 9~ December 10~ December 11~ December 12~ December 13~ December 14~ December 15~ December 16~ December 17~ December 18~ Shannon, USA!!! December 19~ December 20~ December 21~ December 22~ December 23~ December 24~ Jessica USA December 25~ December 26~ Amanda-USA December 27~ December 28~ December 29~ December 30~ December 31~ Eiikare · Tue Jun 06, 2006 @ 08:11pm · 0 Comments

	RESPONSE TO CBS
	RESPONSE TO CBS


RESPONSE TO CBS Apparently we are to be allowed to watch TV programs that use every foul word in the English Language, but not the word "God." It will only take a minute to read this and see if you think you should send it out. DR. DOBSON'S PLEA FOR ACTION CBS discontinued "Touched by an Angel" for using the word God in every program. Madeline Murray O'Hare, an atheist, successfully managed to eliminate the use of Bible reading from public schools a few years ago. Now her organization has been granted a Federal Hearing on the same subject by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in Washington, DC. Their petition, Number 2493, would ultimately pave the way to stop the reading of the gospel our Lord and Savior, on the airwaves of America. They got 287,000 signatures to back their stand! If this attempt is successful, all Sunday worship services being broadcast on the radio or by television will be stopped. This group is also campaigning to remove all Christmas programs and Christmas carols from public schools!! You as a Christian (or any other religious background) can help! We are praying for at least 1 million signatures. This would defeat their effort and show that there are many Christians alive, well and concerned about our country. As Christians we must unite on this. Please don't take this lightly. We ignored this lady once and lost prayer in our school and in offices across the nation. Please stand up for your religious freedom and let your voice be heard. Together we can make a difference in our country while creating and for the lost to know the Lord. Now, please Add a comment with your name and state. Post a comment with your name and state and I will put you up. Please do not sign jointly, such as Mr. & Mrs. Each person should sign his/her own name. Please defeat this organization and keep the right of our freedom of religion. When I get to 1500 I will email this back to: "Lisa Norman" electric_yello@hotmailcom REMEMBER: Our country was founded on freedom of religion and our Constitution is based on the 10 Commandments. 1. Barbara Prochaska, Cresco, Iowa 2. Wanda Swestka, Waucoma, IA 3. Art Swestka, Waucoma, IA 4. Marce Swestka, Protivin, IA 5. Lynn Hassman, Altoona, IA 6. Bonnie Hassman, Altoona, IA 7. Ginny Hassman, Sun City, Az 8. Keith Hassman, Sun City, Az 9. Terrie Duncan, Robertsdale, AL 10. Althea McMillian, Mobile, AL 11. Herbert McMillian, Austin, TX 12. Orville Dixon, Rochester, NY 13. Blake Smith , Kalamazoo, Mi 14. Patrick Marlette , Greenville , mi 15. Nancy McClintock , Greenville , Mich 16. Roxanne McDonald, Sevierville,.TN 17. Holly Murphy, Hanover, PA 18. Thomas Murphy, Hanover, PA 19. Tammy Blodgett Clermont, FL 20. Ken Blodgett, Jr. Clermont, Fl 21. Andrea Pomerleau, Clermont, FL 22. Kevin Gallaher, Orlando, FL 23. Maryanne Gallaher, Sneads Ferry, NC 24. Edward Gallaher, Sneads Ferry, NC 25. Margaretta Bedosky, Sneads Ferry, NC 26. John D. Barringer,Springfield,VA 27. Rita K. Barringer, Sprinfield, VA 28. Guy F. Hellwege 29. Elizabeth A. Hellwege 30. Joyce C. Ray, Fort Collins, CO 31. H. Earl Ray, Fort Collins, CO 32. Marian Pike, Fort Collins, CO 33. Majel H. Morgan, Fort Collins, CO 34 Donald Reed, Avon, CT 35. Richard Dwelley, Salisbury, CT 36. William Halsch 37. Elizabeth Halsch 38. Julie P. Gardner, Valrico, Fl 39. Duane S. Gardner, Valrico, Fl 40. Rick Still 41. Charce' Still 42. Shirley Rehrig 43. Raquel Trapp, FL 44. Millie Springle, Manassas, Va. 45. Glenda, Virginia 46. Cynthia, Virginia 47. Kandice, VA 48. Eugene Bradley Sr. Roch.NY. 49. Lisa Bradley Roch,NY. 50. Norm West Roch,NY. 51. Olivia West Roch,NY. 52. Eugene Bradley Jr. Buff,NY. 53. Mattie Jones Roch,NY. 54. Roshon Bradley Roch,NY. 55. Deborah Bradley Roch,NY. 56. Nerissa West Roch,NY. 57. Ronald West Roch,NY. 58. Joyce J. Jackson 59. Cynthia P. McCauley,N.Y. 60. Allison Bourne, N.Y. 61. Lorrie Brown, FL 62. Jimmye L. Jones Greenville, NC 63. Charles Lee Taylor, Randallstown, MD 64. C. Layne Taylor, Randallstown, MD 65. Sharlette L. Taylor, Randallstown, MD 66. Amy S. Taylor, Randallstown, MD 67. Ramona Wiggins, MD 68. Sandra Franklin,VA 69. Yvonne D. Reed, MD 70. James W Preston Sr. 71. Bobbie Jo Torres, DE 72. Genie Herwig, DE 73. David Herwig, DE 74. David Herwig, II, DE 75. Shirley Stutesman, DE 76. Carol F. Kruse, WA/AZ 77. Patricia Ballard 78. Shirley Booth, Marysville WA. 79. Jesse Booth, Marysville WA. 80. Joe Beardslee, Lake Stevens, WA. 81. Nettie Kero, WA 82. Helen Kero, WA 83. Daniel Kero, WA 84. Alex Kero, WA 84. Amanda Johnson, WA 85. Nate Johnson, WA 87. Brian Johnson, WA 86. Kirstie Johnson, WA 87. Justi Johnson, WA 88. Noah Johnson, WA 89. Jeff Warhden, WA 90. Rachelle Coble WA 91. Brian COble WA 92. Chris Miles Wa 93. Jen Miles Wa 94. Rhonda Campbell wa 95. Ryan Durham Wa 96. Joan Wescott Wa 97 Rayvin Boitnao Wa 98 Darrol Mickelson WA 99. Jackie Clark, WA 100. Barbara Jones, WA 101. Yvonne Jackson, WA 102. Arland Sanborn, Oregon 103. Dewey Steele 104. Elvera Steele 105. Carol Russell, Oldsmar,FL 106. Reginald Russell,Oldsmar,FL 107 Lee Cataldo, Palm Harbor, FL 108 Albert Cataldo, Palm Harbor, FL 109. Linda Grasso, Palm Harbor, FL 110. Elizabeth O'Shea, Palm Habor, FL 111.Amy Christianson 112. Don Petersen, Harlan, IA 113. Bonnie Petersen, Harlan, IA 114 james Du Pree Panama City Fl 115 Mavis Du Pree Panama City Fl 116. John C. Baker, Sr., Pembroke Pines, FL 117. Maria Baker, Pembroke Pines, FL 118 Kim Richards New Castle PA 119 David Richards New Castle PA 120 Betty Whitten, Thomasville, NC 121 James L. Whitten, Thomasville, NC 122 Robert Fletcher, Cresaptown, Md. 123 Jackie Fletcher, Cresaptown, MD 124. Sharon Alderman , VB, VA 125. Ed Alderman, VB, VA 126. Judy Nave, Baltimore, MD 127 Clyde Nave, Baltimore, MD 128 Barbara Mislan, VB, VA 129. Joan Haug, Morrisville, PA 130. Michael S. Smutko, Wallingford, CT 131. Joan R. Smutko, Wallingford, CT 132. Michelle Visokay, Maine 133. Sue Braccidiferro, Meriden, CT. 134 V.A.CASANOVA NO.BFD.CT 135. Linda Blackman, Antrim, NH 136 Judy Icenogle, Winslow, ME 137 Roger Icenogle, Winslow, ME 138. Sandra Pellerin,Winslow,Me 139. Arthur Pellerin, Winslow,Me 140. Diana Michaud, Winslow, ME 141. Maxine Austin, Sidney, Me 142 Linda Lougee, Milo, Maine 143 Walter lougee,Milo, Me. 144. Edward G. Van Denburgh, Corinna Me. 145. Helen E. Van Denburgh, Corinna Me. 146. Diana L. Wetzel, Thornton,CO 147. Babs Benson, Lafayette CO 148. Lisa Tice, Broomfield, CO 149. Kathy Dieringer, Arvada, CO 150. Dale Dieringer, Arvada CO 151. Brian Myers, Broomfield, CO 152. Jennifer Myers, Broomfield, CO 153. Joan M. Balkus 154. Amy Balkus, CA 155. Susie Theroux, Cypress, CA 156. Vicki Theroux, Downey, CA 157 Jordon and Connie Holthouse Willard Oh 158. Marvin and Valerie VanSomeren Hudsonville MI 159. Jennifer Shoup, MI 160. Peggy Couser, Chesapeake, VA 161. Paul Keith Couser, Chesapeake, VA 162. Lynn Gray, VA 163. Scott Gray, VA 164. Dan Heileman, Sterling Heights, MI 165 Jerry D'Amico 166 Jeffrey Cramp, Peoria AZ 167. Rick Dale 168. Faris Dale 169. Patricia Dale 170. Anna Collins, AL Eiikare · Tue Jun 06, 2006 @ 08:07pm · 0 Comments

	Funny Joke
	Funny Joke


One day A teacher told a little girl to go outside and to stand out there for 30 minutes and Look up, down, and all around. When she came back in, the teacher asked her if she SAW God. The little girl said no and the teacher said, Well, then he does not exist because you cannot see him. Then a Little boy raised his hand and the teacher said Yes Johnny? Johnny stood up and said Kelly, Look at the teacher's head. So Kelly did. Then Johnny said Can you see the teacher's brain? "No" Said Kelly Then it doesn't exist because you can't see it. Eiikare · Tue Jun 06, 2006 @ 07:54pm · 0 Comments

	Lighbulb changing (FUNNY)
	Lighbulb changing (FUNNY)


HOW MANY HORSEMEN DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? WESTERN PLEASURE RIDERS: Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb, I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly and oh, my diamond studs have to flash in the light, you know, so , oh, someone has to fix it. Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously you can't ride, you can do it. ENDURANCE RIDER: Light bulb? Do you mind, I'm trying to get my horse's pulse/respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels. Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb. DRESSAGE QUEEN: Change a light bulb? Are you joking? I couldn't possibly be expected to subject myself to such a menial task. Change it yourself. Oh, and wash your hands when you are finished. The very thought! CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN: These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self. Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb. That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing. EVENTERS: Wuss! As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross country, I'll change it. Until then, deal with the dark. It'll put hair on your chest. Only dressage riders require lights, anyway. SHOW JUMPER: Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my butt. Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded. NATURAL HORSEMAN: You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using "light bulb dynamics" (video set available at $179.00 on my Website). Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented "light bulb coaxer" wink designed by me - $99.00 each, for extra $49.99 you get a introductory video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should. HUNTER RIDER: Well, I'm waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he's changing light bulbs somewhere else right now. BACKYARD HORSEMAN: Do I have to do everything??!! Oh yeah, I do, don't I? I'll get to it as soon as I'm done mucking stalls, cleaning and filling the tub, cleaning and filling the water buckets, stacking my hay, setting up for night feeding, cleaning my tack, picking out manure from the paddock, brushing and exercising the horses, and whatever else needs to be done. HOW MANY HORSES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB? THOROUGHBRED: Who ME?? Do WHAT? I'm scared of light bulbs! I'm outta here! ARABIAN: Someone else do it. It might get my silky mane dirty and besides, who's gonna read me the instructions? QUARTER HORSE: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want STANDARDBRED: Oh for Pete's Sake, give me the damn bulb and let's be done with it. SHETLAND: Give it to me. I'll kill it and we won't have to worry about it anymore. FRIESIAN: I would, but I can't see where I'm going from behind all this mane BELGIAN: Put the Shetland on my back, maybe he can reach it then. WARMBLOOD: Is the 2nd Level Instruction Packet in English? Doesn't anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT changing lightbulbs. Make the thoroughbred get back here and do it. MORGAN: Me! Me! Me! Pleeease let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it! I know how, really I do! Just watch! My parole officer said it's okay, really! And when we're done we can go over to the neighbors and chase their cats! APPALOOSA: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the lightbulb, I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that damn Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double barrel him. HAFLINGER: That thing I ate was a lightbulb? I loved it! I hope you do too! Eiikare · Tue Jun 06, 2006 @ 07:44pm · 0 Comments

	EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!!!
	EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!!!


EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH!!! I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Little did I suspect. I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves! Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Bonzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum! " The leap was nothing short of spectacular... He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage! Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25 mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing... I grabbed for him with my left hand. After a few misses, I finally managed to snag his tail. With all my strength, I flung the evil rodent off to the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw. That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser. But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary angry squirrel. This was an EVIL MUTANT ATTACK SQUIRREL OF DEATH! Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands and, with the force of the throw, swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact, he landed squarely on my BACK and resumed his rather antisocial and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him! The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him. I was startled, to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it. The engine roared and the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in .. well .. I just plain screamed. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel-torn t-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, and roaring at maybe 50 mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street on one wheel, with a demonic squirrel of death on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder. With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle... my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little effect against the massive power of the big cruiser. About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he was an evil mutant NAZI attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got INSIDE my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed part way, he began hissing in my face. I am quite sure my screaming changed intensity. It had little effect on the squirrel, however. The RPMs on the Dragon maxed out (since I was not bothering with shifting at the moment), so her front end started to drop. Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very raggedly torn T-shirt, wearing only one leather glove, roaring at probably 80 mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out of the mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse. Finally I got the upper hand . I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked ... sort of. Spectacularly sort of ...so to speak. Picture a new scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork. Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn T-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing only one leather glove, moving at probably 80 mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by, and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car. I heard screams. They weren't mine... I managed to get the big motorcycle under control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign of a busy cross street. I would have returned to 'fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really... except for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. When I looked back, the doors on both sides of the patrol car were flung wide open. The cop from the passenger side was on his back, doing a crab walk into somebody's front yard, quickly moving away from the car. The cop who had been in the driver's seat was standing in the street, aiming a riot shotgun at his own police car. So, the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I could clearly see shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery from the back seat. But I could also swear I saw the squirrel in the back window, shaking his little fist at me. That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car. A somewhat shredded patrol car ... but it was all his. I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made a gentle right turn off of Brice Street, and sedately left the neighborhood. I decided it was best to just buy myself a new pair of gloves. And a whole lot of Band-Aids. This was e-mailed to me by one of my good friends! Eiikare · Tue Jun 06, 2006 @ 07:30pm · 0 Comments


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