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Just dumped my second BF on Monday. I dunno, the romance wasnt there anymore... I also kept looking at other guys and crap.. never a good sign. But there was one constant guy I looked at and wished "Man if only he liked me..." So I realized that this wasnt just a case of 'the grass is greener on the other side' after two weeks of wishing and hoping. Another thing that made me realize this was that everything in my current relationship just seemed.. face. And when we started to do things together all I wanted was to say somthing along the lnes of 'Buzz off, cant you see I dont want to be around you?!" Never did though, that would just be mean. So I decided to dump him on monday after a play we had to see in A and B block.. for me english and history. He seemed okay with it, but I could tell he was hiding his saddness. So yea, after school I went on the computer and started talking to the guy I liked. He said he was staying after school and kinda invited me to without inviting me, you know. Just telling me and saying not to tell anyone because he would get all A.D.D and not be able to do his hw. So I was really excited and told my friend Amber, (who I told first that I liked this guy at the begining) and she thought it was cute. Then she proceeded saying 'You two would make the cutest couple!'. So yea, I couldnt wait till after school. When the time came, I headed down to the AP room. Thats the place where you just generally hang out before you have a sport practice or you want to get work done. Least to say not much work gets done, its more of a hang out then anything. So me and this guy talked for a while, like really talked. You know how you just feel like a person is really listening to you and cares about what you say, and it just makes you want to keep talking just for that feeling? Well thats how I felt, though I didnt keep talking like a blubbering fool. So anyway, me and this guy went out of the AP room and played with fire.. fun fun! Then we went wandering around more, going into the gym and sitting at this place where nobody could see us. We just kinda continued talking. Then we just continued wandering afterwards and We went to a different place where nobody could see us, unless they passed by of course. So we talked a bit then we drifted onto the topic of love and crap. So he asked me who I liked, and I told him that he would know who it was so I could'nt tell him. So when he persisted and didnt get a reply, he began tickle tourturing me. He asked again so I told him I liked him, and then there was that kinda akward silence but then we began talking again. Later that day.. erm.. night at the time I'm talking about, we were talking on aim. Here is the convo, guy is guy and other person is me:
guy: so yeah, ive come to a conclusion...
kikyoku kira: fun
kikyoku kira: and its italiced
kikyoku kira: woot
guy: yeah..
guy: i kinda like you too, but i cant do anything, cuz it wouldnt work at all
guy: id end up doing something stupid as ******** and blowing s**t up
kikyoku kira: its okay, I really didnt expect anyting to happen.. its like one of those to good to be true things..
guy: nah.. youre lucky this isnt gonna happen
guy: i suck at relationships
kikyoku kira: eh, I thought I did to, but w/e tis okay
guy: so..
guy: friends?
kikyoku kira: yea, if we werent I'd be all like sad, cuz it would be another friend I've lost for the same reason
guy: i wouldnt break off a friendship because a certain friend liked me
kikyoku kira: we;ll ur a better person then some
guy: heh.. thanks?
kikyoku kira: np
I regret not saving the rest of the convo, cuz I kept at it and convinsed him he would ******** up. So now we are going out, but in secret. He told me later on he wasnt emotionally or mentally ready for a relationship. I dont think it was that he wasnt ready, its just that he isnt ready for people to know. I dunno... we dont do anything at skool, we still talk on aim the same amoun, mebe more. He does give me more online hugs then before, so thats a plus. I hope by my confirmation party he will let me tell people, cuz I really want to brag and tell everyone how much of a sweet heart he is. So yea, thats my story of love... hope u enjoyed it.
NOTE: I left little bits and pieces out so if parts of my story dont make sense.. deal with it!