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I never thought i would be using this place to actually vent how i felt about my personal life. However most sites just release your posts and everything you do, except for this one for the most part. So i'm here to vent my feelings since i have no one to talk to that can be trusted.Synopsis: I broke up my long term relationship with a guy who is in love with me, i care about him but i don't think i can be in love with him anymore, i just don't feel anything. I believe that it's either my depression or the fact that i'm a total b***h that i don't feel like i do anymore. i've been through similar relationships, however i have felt that there were problems on both ends previously. for example all of my past relationships they have cheated on me. which in turn does effect on my self esteem even though i tell myself it doesn't and that i already have a self loathing problem since always. But to have someone who does love me, gives me what i want, but not what i need. like keeping a job or making their own priorities and accomplishing those goals with or without me around. sounds needy i know, more in a way that they should be needy for them selves and not be a lost puppy following me around all the time. but it seems to be that way in most relationships, one serves and one takes and gives the treat...i don't like it, i don't like anything really though. so all in all i don't know if it's really my depression conflicting with my interests or is this how i am no matter what? if it's the latter i should get used to being alone all the time.