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inside and outside
the circles of life spin
they lay upon me
and i feel living
i breathe
and feel another's breath
i wonder
these circular beings
that make me feel
sick but happy
and alive
with another life
safely tucked in
and i see
that the circles of life
attached to me for a reason
unknown for now
but there
and i feel the happiness
and the joy
attached to me
as i hold his hand
and tell him about
the circular beings
who attached to me
for an unknown reason
and i see his face
reflecting my own
all smiles
without a worry
and i know
the baby
will have a
loving
caring
father
unlike his
or mine
we will be happy
together

oh...and i am not pregnant-just felt all motherly today(i only 17-weirdos....and my love is in a different state)

i left you far away
i need you to be far away
i want you here though
i would bring you here
but sadly, i cannot
you think that i abandoned you
you believe i am okay
yet you have never called
you never say c ya l8tr or bye
just w/e....okay
if i truly abandoned you
why do i feel left out
when i am with my new friends
in my new life here
and not together in their group?
i should have been overwhelmed with love,
however, i am stuck here
in the gloomy abyss of despair
and hatred and longing
i am all alone here, nobody gets me
u came close to once
but that feeling of trust and love between us
dissipated into thin air
like the ice cream you bought me that summer
i trusted you and my inner thoughts
used to circle in my head
never wandering off the path of your image
u'd read me like a book
a 14 size tempus sans font book
that was constantly in front of you
i adored your being
lingered on every word out of your mouth
desperate for more
waiting, oh so patiently for your breathing
to reach my inner ear so i would
be able to breathe again
and if i was thinking of your voice,
i couldn't speak until you did
why did i leave you?
this question haunts me
did i truly abandon you?
will you ever forgive me?
how on earth do i answer these questions
they overwhelm me
and into the darkness and despair i go again
i will never leave this foresaken place
the chains you put around me
pull me back to the wall
i cry and yell, but know
you aren't there to open the lock
i just sit and ponder how things could've been different
if only i hadn't have left
and abandoned you there
so very far away from here and me...

to all my friends
the ones i care about
who hold my secrets near
who keep my stories
of love and hate
and encounters secretly
i hold you dear to me
and wish it would disappear
this hate
this attitude and negativity
just keep going
on with ur lives
so that i can live
i can keep going
tellin you my secrets
my opinions and the like
and stop the madness
the tears quiver inside me
afraid of ebing let out
and i know whos is true
i kno who is not
so part of me agrees
and part of me does not
my true friends
who are always there
do you truly love me or not?

i said go
i said fall
i didnt mean it
i said leave
i said out
i didnt know
i said hate
i said love
i didnt see
i said remember
i said forget
i was a mystery
i said stay
i said wait
i didnt hear
i said come
i said sit
i didnt notice
i said nothing!