Mushashi Miyamoto Proudly Presents:
The Samurai Hump Brothers
IN
A Day at the Beach
As the day begins at the Bordello De Hump, we find our heros sleeping in their beds. Quog with his Batman sheets and Mushi sleeping on rubber sheets, hey everyone has problems growing up. The boys awaken to sound of the phone ringing. Well Quog answers the phone to hear nobody on the other end. Pissed at being woken from his slumber, Quog wanders down the hallway to Mushi's room. Upon opening the door he discovers horrors that would burn your eyes out. He cant believe that Mushi Is humping the phone and what looks like a stuffed animal at the same time. Now humping two things is not uncommon for the boys but the manner Mushi Is going about doing it, with the stuffing flying around and the demons cackle being heard. Quog recognizing the need to join in the fun and festivities begins to hump the bed post, with the speed and preciscion of a dentist. The boys finishing their morning work out and head the kitchen to grab some much needed food.
Once in the kitchen, Mushi sits at the table and Quog opens the fridge. Quog notices a turkey and asks if Mushi would like some, Mushi Ssays no and wouldnt recommend eating as it was a late night hump target. They agree to eat cereal and watch Transformers the Movie. Durring the movie a total of six couch cushions was humped, all by Quog.
Mushi was busy playing with his toys, sorry but I actually do that when watching the original Transformers movie. At the end of the movie the brothers accept the task of going to the beach.
As you may not know the Brothers Bordello sits on the beach, so its not hard for them to goto. It is just the fact that nobody comes within ten feet of the beach behind their house. They know better, I mean when HBO does a special on your lifestyle it does make it a little hard to stay low key. The boys dont care, always a prime spot to set up Hump Central and watch the sights. The boys place the chairs and the cooler, and rub the dark tanning oil on. Its going to be a good day. The crowds are comming in and everyone is fighting to keep away from the boys. With a high five and much celebration the area has become full and the boys now wait for their prey.
The boys settled in and watching the area notice a sand sculpture twenty feet away. With a sparkle in his eye Quog looks at Mushi and and they are off. Some poor childs sand person being humped by the Brothers in broad daylight. Mothers covering their childrens eyes as not to look at the horror of such sweet delight. Mushi barking suggestions on what to do.
The people around them terrified to move near the naked masked boy, humping the sand. And then it happened, an act of which would cause many to faint and most to die. Someone placed their towel in the forbidden zone. And a girl at that.
The boys wanting nothing more than to hump this fine being, realize they need to be cool about the whole thing. They walk over with sodas and chips, Quog pelvic thrusting, Mushi foaming at the mouth and dryhumping the soda. Upon meeting her they learn her name. Kristinely, a nice girl who just doesnt understand what is about to happen. Before she can even take a soda she asks if she can use the bathroom. The boys show her the house and tell her where it is located. The poor girl is horrified upon entrance , to see cushions torn apart, stuffed animals mangled, and the walls covered with the Boys magazine covers. Hey if you made the cover of Humps Monthly you would be happy too. And lets not talk about the string of six years running for being the Humpers of the Year. Kristinely uses the bathroom and walks past the kitchen. Feeling hungry, she checks the fridge. A whole turkey, this must be her lucky day.
She takes a piece and thinks this is the best turkey she has ever tasted. She eats the whole thing, and heads back out to the beach. Since she left the boys have been consumed with humping a beached whale some fifty feet down from them. Mushi working the fins, sweat covered and moving like a wild animal. Quog Taking the tail and riding like he was in a rodeo. The boys even humped the rescue workers who were trying to help the whale. But upon spotting Kristinely, they drop the humping and rush back to the only empty spot on the beach, in front of their house.
They offer to apply Kristinely's suntan lotion, and she agrees. But before Mushi could open the bottle Quog was on her leg and thrusting for all the he could. Mushi not to be outdone , begins humping her other leg. The girl is in horror, the boys are at their finest. Quog so graceful, the wind
in his face, the sun accenting his muscles. Mushi, never has had it so easy, not even that time in Paris when the boys humped the Arc d Triumph.
Not knowing if it was the turkey or the sheer madness of the humping, she
passes out, much to the boys liking.
Kristinely, wakes up to find her self on Batman sheets and sore and tired. She walks out to find the boys playing video games and and sneeks out. Never to return to this house. As she makes it out, she notices her stuff on the deck and grabs it and runs. As she is running she notices a sign posted by the city, not to come within ten feet of the house as it is a hump zone for which they cannot stop. Ashamed and Embarrased she heads home knowing that she was humped by the Samurai Hump Brothers.
To the boys surprise they didnt even remember she was there all they could wonder was who ate the Turkey Mushi humped all night long last night.
