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I am going to be as open as possible.
Last year I made a promise to myself of a dark matter. That at the end of the last month in the year, or my 25th birthday, that I would find the most humane way to end my troubles. I made this promise to myself because at the time I thought nothing was worth the emotional pain I would inflict on myself.
The date is nearly here and I still feel the vertigo, falling with no light, the quiet creep mid day. People care about me Ive told them of my issue and I smile with them but they can see that its still just behind my eyes. Nightmares go through my day when in a normal conversation I can feel what it would be like to slit my own throat under heavy sedatives.
I've needed aid for a long time and I was to proud/foolish? to get it. I worry about my friends. I worry about money and just daily life. So very tired.
 Merpoi · Sat Dec 17, 2016 @ 12:22am · 0 Comments |
