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why do we work so hard
to practice skills and schemes
to protect ourselves from truth
in a world that's not what it seems?

we tear and rip
shatter and scream
for only a sip
of our would-be dream

I once lived in a place
happy and alive
now it's not the case
strangled by my web of lies

I thought I was okay now
I thought I was alright
but as I now realize
I will never see the light

for once you think you're happy
but that's a fake flourescent light
now you can see the shadows
and nothing will be alright

if I knew what I was in for
I know what I would do
I'd drink the poison
take the knife
just for once
forget my strife
and take my life

become a statistic for all to see
be the only one at the funeral
just the preacher and me

and as I am lowered
I open my eyes
scratch at my coffin
scream to the skies

I wonder where I would have been
in a couple of years
drowning my pain
with whiskey and beer?

wondering why no one noticed
that I wasn't the same?
that I was in such unforgiving pain?

I look at my life
as I fall to the deep



"Now I lay me, down to sleep . . ."