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Ok, so it seems I only make these journal entries when I come back to new york from california. I fail to say home because im not too sure where home is right now, as my heart is with Shannon but she's not here in new york with me. The airport was horrible this time, they actually moved the flight up, which never happens and was ultra retarded. I cried, I can never help it, my mom is like "It's ok, you're gonna be back in a few weeks" but it's not the point, I want to spend every day with her, and Id like to finally get married... have kids... a nice house, a job that doesnt suck. Im crying because she's everything to me... I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I cant yet because of school obligations... and after the summer it'll be the same, yeah we'll probably spend the whole summer together but... after that it's back to school. Anyway, after a brief goodbye to her parents and then us holding each other as much as possible till the security check, I started going through security, who, the black security guard thought I was being racist or something for not going to her, so I went to her, and she ended up bending my glasses when I took them off just in case, they dont fit right now so I have to get them fixed. I got to the plane, almost dropped my boarding pass beforehand, and cried the whole way to my seat, kept saying to myself "Dont cry dont cry dont cry". Only one person, some mexican guy, said "Hey, hope ya feel better". He didnt even have to, but, he went out of his way, I said thanks and told him have a nice night, he's probably sleeping now. On that subject, I didnt sleep, and I didnt even get my seat, some old woman took it and I didnt wanna tell her to get up cuz I felt bad enough already. I would've told her, however, If I knew she'd keep getting up or asking for stuff... forcing to get in my way the whole time. There was an empty seat next to me, which, kept making me wish Shannon was coming with me. Thankfully the flight only lasted 4 hours and 45 minutes, I have school soon. I can't wait till tonight so I can talk to her. Until then school and hopefully pizza and advent children with family.

I can't stop crying and I feel like such a loser for it, I just got back to new york and I miss Ashira so much.... it's only been a few hours but Ive been crying because I know it'll be much longer than that till we're together again. I really wanna call her right now but she's probably asleep and I dont wanna wake her up. Ugh, school in a few minutes.... I wish I could just drop everything and be with her 24/7... hopefully things will work out and she can come here in a few weeks. I love her more than anyone in the world, and it hurts so much to be apart... I just can't wait till when we wont have to be apart.

Im at Shannon's house, she's in the shower right now so im sitting here waiting for her to come out. We've been having alot of fun and I dont wanna leave but Im going back to new york on the 12th. I love her so much. I keep tickling her and she squeals. And she has been wanting me to brush her hair, so Ive been doing that... It's actually enjoyable. Sometimes she purrs at me while I do it, which I find so cute heart . Her family likes me alot (even if her mom keeps giving her 'dont have sex' speeches every night before her mom goes to sleep, we both agreed on not doing that yet anyway). Otherwise, some drama in the yuyu guild... kinda pissing me off and I dont care if they read this, I think they know. Im not angry, just ticked off. I think im gonna go watch Shannon's mom and grandma play scrabble, so... Later.