... by Okore, Lady_Voldemort, and Asylum_Junkie
Previously: ...
Chapter One: An Interesting LetterChapter Two: Spinner's EndChapter 3: Dealing With Dementors"George, yer balloonin' needs a lil' work thar, mate." Hagrid said as he got up off of Hermoine.
Hermione would've been yelling at George, but unfortunately her left lung had exploded due to Hagrid falling on her. Nobody bothered fixing it, though. They were happy to have Hermione shut up. Unfortunately, Hermione hadn't been as diligent about studying the art of breathing without lungs, so she died.
The previously air-sick dementor was now looking very peeved, probably due having plaster all over his robes. How a dementor can look peeved is beyond me, but he did. He started to cuss at George in Dementorese, but decided it was lost on him and stopped. Then he started ranting to a wall in English.
"I don't get paid enough for this! I don't even know why I'm with these people! If I ever geet my hands on the Ministry of Magic, I'm going to STRANGLE them. 'Attend the children' they say! 'keep them out of trouble' they say! Of course, I'm never assigned to ANYBODY with a drop of common sense! You'd expect people to know better than to pull something that says 'Do Not Pull', but nooooo, they have to go and pull it anyway. Now look at this! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get these cloaks to look all worn and raggedy without having them start falling apart? My dry-cleaning bill is going to go through the roof! I can't wear these now!"
He was about to take off his robes, but Harry noticed and shouted at him.
"NOOOO!! You can't do that, you'll kill us all!!"
"Why shouldn't I? They're dirty."
"That's indecent! Besides, you're a dementor and you're an unspeakable horror beneath those"
"Nonsense." said the dementor
He took off his robes to reveal a giant 'CENSORED' sign. He'd forgotten that part of his contract said he couldn't show anything but his hands.
"So that's what the look like underneath their robes!" Fred exclaimed.
"... Dammit." The dementor put his robes back on so he wouldn't a be 'CENSORED' sign anymore. Then he started sulking in a corner.
Fred went over to poke Hermoine's corpse with a stick he'd found since they'd crashed. It turns out that the stick was magical and turned Hermione into chocolate. She was still dead, though. Fred was pretty fond of chocolate, so he ate her. She was really tasty.
Ron, who'd gotten a concussion from the crash landing woke up. He remembered that he had something important to tell Harry, but then a piece of the ceiling fell on his head a knocked him out again.
"Shouldn't we be getting ready to head to Hogwarts?" Harry said. "I'm tired of sitting in the attic"
They all headed downstairs. The dementor helped Mrs. Weasley make dinner because he makes awesome pies. He could've been a millionaire if went into business and sold his pies on the street. Anyway, everybody ate pies for dinner.
"Oh yeah," Harry said to the dementor, even though his mouth was full of pie and he shouldn't have been able to speak clearly "I never caught your name"
"My name..."the dementor said in a dramatic voice "is Annabelle!!"
LUH 3417 · Tue Nov 23, 2004 @ 06:35am · 3 Comments
