alot has happened and this tells it maybe better then what i put ou tthere for friends to see
i was hurt and i hurt
but now things are getting better
theres always going to be something thats not perfect but that doesnt mean things arent great
right now im with the most amazing guy and wev been together for almost a year and a half
this is the second love of my life and the man i want to marrie i want to spend my life with him and share a family to fall asleep together and wake up together everyday
he wont put me through what my first love did because he actualy loves me
my first love and i still talk and its almost never really a good talk
he still confuses and hurts me but i cant expect anything mroe just like i cant expect to know if he ever truely did love me
i prally wont use this often who knows though right?
i miss the person i was before i had my heartbroken though i was so carefree and happy i always gave the benefit of the doubt and thought the best of everyone i was trusting*although it was to trusting in the end its still a good thing*and happy
he brought out my depression and im still fighting that today but now i have help from brian my boyfriend
i feel awful about the inbetween bf mason i hurt him and i never ment to i shouldnt have gotten into a rleationship with him in the first place i was still in love with miguel but things happen and as much as i wish i could i cant take them back and i cant undo the pain that iv caused over my life
my sister and i are still not getting along and prally never will
i dont know
but things are looking up
my boyfriend brian and i before prom this is the most recent it was last weekend i think
a newer pic of me*our cameras broken so its not to new XP*
also this isnt edited im lettin ghte true me achne blemishs imperfections show
my skin isnt always perfect and it isnt always bad it just was when i was able to take new pics =P
if you dont like the real me then to bad your not a true friend or person who thinks im attractive everyone has their off days and if you truely like someone it doesnt matter what they look like their beautiful in your eyes
prally noone looks at this but thats ok
if you want pics of the middle ex or the first love let me know and i'll put them up
names barbara btw
figure why should i hide only three people on here know me*that i know of* two of which are aware of everything and true friends
the other is a coward b*****d who never deserved to be called friend by anyone and prally wont look at my posts or jurnals so it doesnt matter he knows its me anyways
an anyone that knows me would see the pics and be able to figure out that its me
