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So, as I've said in my other entries, I've had this crush on a kid named Andrew for sometime now. Yesterday I finally said (again) that I liked him. Now last time I did he said he liked me too but he had a girlfriend at the time. This time...nothing. The subject was changed and we just started talking about something else. I don't want to show it but I guess this really upsets me. I've liked him for the longest time. Have I missed my chance? I know there are plenty of other fish in the sea. I guess it's time to move on and find a new fish. Well...actually there is this other guy that I like but he's 22 and I'm 17. As of right now, that relationship would be illegal, not to mention the fact that he has a girlfriend AND he's my manager at work. That relationship would never work out. I guess I seem to always like older guys o.O

Ah I can't stand this any longer! Why must I like Andrew so much? I just need to get over this. Our relationship will never go anywhere beyond just being friends. And yet, I can't seem to stop liking him. Geez I'm so stupid. He probably find me annoying or boring. My low self esteem is enough to turn any guy off. I just want to be loved. I want someone to care about me. But I don't think it'll ever happen. There are three people I can think of that like me. Why can't I like one of them back? It'd make life so much easier. I guess I just don't want to settle for someone that I truly don't think I could fall head over heels in love with. I mean, I did love Thomas, but not in the way I want to be in love. You know, that deep really romantic love, like in Letters to Juliet.

Okay, goal of the month: Get over Andrew by the time he comes back from Germany.

Goal number two: Lose some freaking weight, good God, I'm eating like I'm pregnant.

Hey look! A journal! I think I should read it *goes through and reads previous posts*

Wow was I a strange child....NOT ANYMORE (yeah right stare )

So anyway I think I'll treat this as if it were an actual journal. So to start of, let's talk about how my day went. Well, it's nearing the end of school so we didn't do ANYTHING in class today. I actually skipped out on 8th period (For those of you who do not know, I am the BIGGEST goodie good ever). I've been hanging out with my friends Jacquie and Thomas all day....It's actually been pretty fun 3nodding And, naturally, I haven't talked to my friend Andrew all day crying (ps - I has a crush on him)

Ha ha. Because no one read journals anymore you don't know what I'm thinking! blaugh mrgreen