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I started a new job and am back in college now. I have a nasty feeling that Im getting more and more depressed. Suddenly Thoughts of David (My friend who commite suicide) are coming back. I look back and I only remember him smiling or dancing. The night he died he took everyone's pictures (he died the 3rd night of the school theatre show, but we finished the run in the end). I didn't think to take it as a warning sign. Now all I have is memories of him. It's like trying to catch something swaying in the wind but all I come up with is air.



Rain. I love rain. I live on the west coast in Canada. Every now and then my father packs up some stuff and we head north up the island for 5 or 6 hours. We drive past the mist veiled hills of sproat lake. We stop at the massive englishman river falls. We drive past the golden giant Maples. We end up at Ucculete and Tofino and go to the light house and watch the waves. The wind is always pounding the coast. The fog horn sounds. A spray of mist brushes through my hair. Everything's poetic.

I return to Tofino and the wilder parts of the Island when I need a break from lifes little stresses. I pull the memories over my eyes like a veil and bath in pour, raw glory of the wilderness.

I have been very sucessful with my custom avi thing and have already made the equivalent of about 40 days postings, in 2 days! rofl Im going into art college, and I discovered adobe photoshop on my computer (weeee!), hence the reason for the boost in gold! however in the real world im stark broke and job hunting.... Im so a failure in real life

Wow surprised I really can't keep an online journal eh? That's ok I have my usual nightstand one. No online peeping toms can look in that one. You know I really gotta put a couple of entries online so all my fans can read what Im really like at night. *shutters* It's usually very bizarre and eek ...violent... stressed here it goes!
"From my pores grow bushes of spikes and thorns. A hand of Rot and Sin is infinatly more interesting than one of Flesh and Virtue"
and stare
"It's nice to be wanted. If my rotted hands could leave they would crawl to my neck and bring rot to the rest of my body."
I also have some Shakespear sprinkled about... stuff I tend to repeat is: "frailty thy name is woman" (for some odd reason), "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than your philosophies could dream of", and the "to be or not to be" and "Oh that this too too sullied flesh would melt"sililquies.

crying sweatdrop Im very sick... I've been sick for a whole week now... And despite my better judgement I still took part in the play last Wednsday. To tell you the trueth I had to... being a major character and all..... But i was sooo sick... Lying on the ground behind scenes when I was not on... I had at least 1 person looking after me at all times... Aleksandr and Angela were such angels.... But that was 6 days ago and I'm still sick out of my mind... Tonsilitice... strep throaght.... a ruptured and infected ear drum... pink eye.... im sooo miserable... Been watching alot of stargate... only real thing that's entertaining around here... that, runescape and this.... but mom doesn't like me on the computer... can't say I blame her. The usual self destructive urges have subsided for a while... while im sick and all... but they'll be back.... they always come back...