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I hear your voice fade away as I drift into a deep sleep, not knowing if I would wake the next day. Your last words, “I love you, Em. I’ll always love you.” I lay there in a limp body, praying to God above that I may live another day.
The next morning, I slowly opened my eyes. I tried to lift my head, but my neck hurt so bad. I lifted my right arm and touched Chad’s head. I stroked his hair as he awoke. “Oh my g....Mr. Michaels! Mrs. Michaels! Come quick....Em’s awake!,”Cried Chad.
“Emily, baby. You’re alive!,” Said her mother as she sobbed. “Emily, we didn’t think you’d ever recover,” said her father.
“Wait a minute. What happened? All I remember is hearing Chad say ‘I love you Emily,’ then I blacked out. I don’t know what happened to me.”
“Em, me and you got in an accident on the way home last night from the football game. We hit a deer, and I swerved. The car flipped, and you didn’t have your seatbelt on. You were ejected from the car. We didn’t think you’d make it, babe,” explained Chad.
“Oh hell. No wonder my neck hurts so bad.”
I told them I was tired, so I wanted to rest. My parents left the room, but Chad stayed behind. I grabbed his jacket collar and pulled him toward me. I felt his lips touch mine, and I let his tongue slip into my mouth. I loved his kisses. They were so deep and meaningful. As we parted, I told him, “I love you, Chad. I’ll never leave you. You mean so much to me. You are my knight in shining armor, and I need you in my life.” His response to my words was another meaningful and passionate kiss.
Chad left the room quietly and slowly as he watched me. I fell into a deep sleep to his words the replayed over and over from the night before.
As I awoke from my sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my right side. I screamed loudly. Chad heard this and ran to see what was going on.
“Em, what’s wrong? Em? Em?,” is what I heard as I lost consciousness.
I heard the doctor talking to my parents through my sleep. I was unconscious, but I was still listening in my mind. “Emily had some internal bleeding. We have to operate immediately to save her life. We’ll do a CAT scan to see the extensiveness of the bleeding, but we have to operate ASAP.” “God I don’t want to die. Please let me live.”
I lay there on the operating table, watching the doctor cut me open to suction the blood in my abdomen. I winced at this very idea, not than anyone could see me anyway. He had finally fixed what was bleeding inside me because he was being to suture my stomach back up. After that, I decided to take a nap since I knew I wouldn't be waking up very soon anyways. I mean if my body was sleeping, couldn't my mind sleep too?
For days, I lay there in a comatose state. I prayed to God to let me live so that I may see my precious Chad's face again. I truly loved him. More than anyone else.
Finally, within the course of two days, God answered my prayers. I awoke quietly and saw Chad laying there by my side. He looked so tired and scruffy, like he hadn't slept or shaved since I had been in surgery. I softly placed my hand on his cheek; this took a lot of effort considering I hadn't eaten anything in about a week. He stirred and awoke. "Hey there, beautiful. We missed you. Hold on one minute, baby," he said, "Mr. and Mrs. Michaels, she's awake." My parents rushed in the room. "Hey there, sweetheart. We didn't think you'd ever wake up," said my father. "Oh, baby. I missed you so much," said my mother.
They sat by my bedside for a few minutes until the doctor walked in to check up on me. He checked all my vitals and told my parents and Chad that everything was okay.
I told my parents to go home and rest now that I was okay. They had been a wreck since I had been out of surgery. Their response was a sigh of relief. They left around 7 P.M., but Chad stayed behind. I slowly moved myself over some on the bed and motioned him to come sit beside me.
He walked over to the bed. This time, he had on his baseball sweatshirt. He had run home to shower and change his clothes. This only took him about 15 minutes because he was scared I wouldn't be awake when he returned.
I grabbed ahold of his hood, and he leaned forward. Our lips touched softly as I slowly slipped my tongue into his mouth. I never wanted to part from him. He moaned in my mouth giving me a sense of satisfaction. I slowly parted from him. "That kiss was amazing. I love you, Emily. Do you want me to sleep next to you tonight?," he asked. "Yes, baby. I want you to hold me as I fall asleep," was my response.
I kissed him passionately once again. Then, I felt him put his arms around me as I fell asleep.
The next morning, I awoke at 9. Chad was nowhere to be found, so I turned on the TV and put it on MTV for a bit. “Where is he???”
Right then, Chad walked into the room with another person. “Oh my god! Kris!” You see, Kris is my best friend. “Hey chica. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, but Chad’s been keeping me updated. I didn’t want to see my best friend in the whole wide world hooked up to a bunch of tubes and wires and so...so helpless. That scares," said Kris beginning to cry.
I motioned her to come sit besides me. I gave her a hug. "I know, chica. I wouldn't want to see you like that either. I'm just glad I had mom, dad, and Chad by my side."
Just then, my parents walked through the door . "Hey mom. Hi dad. Good morning. How did you sleep," I asked. "Very well knowing that you're okay now," said my mother.
"Did ya'll eat breakfast yet?"
"No, not yet," she replied.
"Well, I heard the breakfast here is pretty good. Why don't ya'll go check it out?"
"Hold on, dear. I'll be right back," said my mother.
I pondered the reason why she hurried off so quickly.
A few moments later, she and my dad walked into the room with a wheelchair. "Guess what? You can come with us to eat breakfast. Chad, can you help Jeff get Em in the wheelchair?," she asked.
"Sure, Mrs. Michaels," replied Chad as he and my dad raised me up on their shoulders. They set me in the wheelchair, and all of us, including Kris, went downstairs to breakfast.
While Chad wheeled me down the hall, he bent down and kissed me on the forehead. "Good morning, angel. Sorry for such a late good morning kiss this morning. Kris was anticipating to see you. Did you sleep well last night?," he asked.
"With you holding me close all night, of course I did. I love you, my sexy man."
Again, Chad bent down, but this time, he kissed me softly, but ever so passionately. His tongue into my mouth. Our tongues intertwined, and I softly moaned. "God I love his kisses."
"That was heavenly, babe," I replied as we slow parted from each other.
We made it to the cafeteria and had a wonderful breakfast. I enjoyed it so much because I got to spend it with my parents, my best friend, and my awesome boyfriend. We walked out of the door and started walking down the hall together. Chad and me were going down the hall behind my parents, and Kris was in the bathroom. Chad looked down at me as I looked up at him, and he kissed me softly. I was so glad to have him by my side through all of this.
I only spent about another week and a half in the hospital before the doctor discharged me. My mom got me dressed that morning in my favorite band tee, my holey jeans, and my Converse. This took us a while because the cast on my leg prevented us from getting my jeans on easily. Chad wheeled me to the outpatient doors, and Kris held my crutches in her hands. My dad and Chad lifted me into the car, and all of us drove home to rest for a while.
As we pulled up in our driveway, I opened to door and grabbed my crutches. I hobbled into my house, like a penguin of sorts. Kris had driven home to finish a little homework that Mr. Ortero had assigned that night, but she promised she’d be back in time for dinner with my family.
I sat down on the couch, next to Chad, setting my crutches down on the floor beside him.
((MORE TO COME))
 smilesforme_2009 · Thu Nov 23, 2006 @ 07:12am · 0 Comments |
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smilesforme_2009 · Sat Jun 17, 2006 @ 06:34am · 1 Comments |
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You were my one true love
like a girft given to me
from God above
only for my eyes to see
You meant so much
and I loved you
especially your heavenly touch
and the things you do
But it all changed
when you told me a bunch of lies
and all I could do it sit around and cry
I can only see myself with you
I want you to want me
the same way that I do
I want to feel your touch
I want you to hold me tight
and tell me that everything's gonna be alright
I want you to tell me
that you love me too
I don't want you
I really do need you, too
and I hope you feel
the same way as I do
I trusted you
with all of my heart
but you took it away
and you broke it apart
all because of the the things you continue to do
My heart is full of sorrow
and waiting for it to completely heal
I hope for a better tomorrow
and for my broken heart to seal
seal all of the love back inside
and for my new to finally begin
smilesforme_2009 · Fri Jun 16, 2006 @ 09:12pm · 0 Comments |
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Finally the happiness i deserve! |
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your presence near me
is not an easy sight to see
i wish you were no longer here
far, far away
and oh, not near
the blade of which i slit your throat
thrown to the side, you poor, poor dear
as i watch you bleed
i wish death would pick up the speed
die quicker i beg of God
so the thicker the plot
my scheme has worked
as you take your last breath
oh, the perfect death
i smile on account of your expense
it all finally makes perfect sense
your death brings me happiness
finally as i sigh
i place the knife next to your chest
so it looks like you killed yourself
i did my best
and im glad you can't be near me
or close
finally you got your deadly dose
i told you not to ******** with me
i'd kill you very quickly
you never listened to the words i said
so you practically killed yourself
your death has brought me great joy
i no longer have to wonder what's in store
my life is a mere tragedy with you here
so your death brings me very near
near to the promise of a better tomorrow.
smilesforme_2009 · Fri Jun 09, 2006 @ 07:36am · 0 Comments |
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im infected with your sorrow
causing me to have no tomorrow
timing is just not right
thinking of love causes the fright
unholy scares
it causes my heart to tear
you have caused me so much pain
so i've got your ticket for the train
it'll take your b*****d self to hell
and all i see in the distance
is that fair nightingale
it shows me there is no hope
for what tomorrow brings
the sound of unheard bells begin to ring
the sorrow never fades
it only brings a shade
as my life is cast in lots
and i die away in this hell i wish to forget.
smilesforme_2009 · Wed Jun 07, 2006 @ 06:08am · 1 Comments |
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the thoughts running through my head
scary thoughts at that
unspoken words finally said
words i spat
only in your face
because its what you deserved
i hate this god-forsaken place
my life unpreserved
unhappy living here
words unclear
thoughts appear
again and again as i wish them to leave
again and again i grieve
grieve over you
i wish it to stop
but there is nothing i can do
except watch my heart drop
leave be
alone and unfree
set my soul on fire
bury my body
so the world cannot see me
alone i am
alone i shall always be
alone in this hell i call my life
smilesforme_2009 · Thu Jun 01, 2006 @ 01:37am · 0 Comments |
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Tonight I?ll die in your arms
and wish death upon you
all you are is trouble
penetrating my heart
the lies
all my sacrifice
waiting upon your decision
well I?ve made mine
your forever gone
(Chorus)
You?re my ultimate sacrifice
I sacrifice your life
you mean nothing to me anyone
my life was hell you in it
it?s better now that your gone
you stupid little twit
I hate you
Go away
My heart can?t take your s**t anymore
I condemn you to hell
wishing death would take over your body
so I could kiss and tell
your foolish ways
send you straight down
away from me
forever
(Chorus)
Rebellion against you
no one wants you here anymore
if you didn?t get the message the first time
go away
********
(Chorus)
smilesforme_2009 · Wed May 17, 2006 @ 07:09pm · 0 Comments |
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you broke my heart
and i cried
the sadness creeps in
the overpowering rejection
is a burden i have to carry
but i have found a new love
better than u could ever be
my heart now belongs to him
and the sadness disappeared
in the black hole of my heart
my new love has given me the black rose
so my heart will never break again
but as the petals fall
i lose him forever
and my world crashes down before my eyes
smilesforme_2009 · Sat Apr 22, 2006 @ 07:44am · 0 Comments |
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love sux
and its hard on my heart
love sux
and its hard on my brain
why cant i just be loved like a normal person?
sadness fills me
tears overflow
now all i wish for
is to die a slow agonizing death
for then i will know
the whole ******** truth behind pain
yet i've been through enough already
no anecdote can fix this problem
let me crawl away in a hole
and stay in darkness alone
forever...
even though i may hurt!
smilesforme_2009 · Mon Apr 17, 2006 @ 06:05am · 0 Comments |
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