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dear big sister,

you will probably never read this, but ******** you. you are the cause of my anxiety half the time. the littlest thing sets me off, i have anxiety, and then i get even more anxious because i'm ******** "attention seeking" and then when people try to help me calm down i'm "manipulating" them. ******** you ******** you ******** you for doing this to me. ******** myself for letting you. i understand you're butthurt from your past, but this depression of mine didn't just come out of the blue. I've had it ever since you tried to kill yourself. i had terrible temper tantrums. in elementary school i was insecure and self cautious as ********. i worried about my weight and attempted diets. in 2nd grade i used to go in the corner of my closet and just cry and write on the walls. ********, i'll show you the proof. in 4rth grade i was depressed and wrote a bunch of songs and cried a lot. 5th grade i was beat up every other day. 6th grade began burning myself and skipping meals. did inhalants. had suicidal thoughts. 7th grade began cutting myself and got my heart broken like 5 times by the same person. started weed and spice and whippets and vodka. ate a lot. cried out my body weight. still suicidal. 8th grade began starving myself more intensely and purging and abusing diet pills and laxatives. also doing more drugs like flower seeds and mystery pills and Xanax. began attempting suicide on a regular basis. you see amber? this escalated over time. once again, you were too self involved to notice anything other than yourself, you selfish little ********. go be a homeless loser somewhere. everybody hates hippies like yourself.

love,
hailee <3

i don't know why i enjoy posting this everywhere, but it might be 'cause i feel proud of myself for once.