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Alright, so with school starting and all I thought I'd dedicate a little something to the awkward phrases my Japanese teacher, Mr. Wright, constantly comes up with. I had him last year for Japanese I and the comments he made had the whole class in stitches, or left us completely dumbfounded. Be warned: They make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Here are some of the things he's said in the past:

This one he said when he was particularly angry at our inattentive class: "I want to take you, throw you in a dark closet, and spray my accidents all over you!" (yeah... it's as bad as it sounds)

This was his "end-of-the-year" advice to me: "If you see a hairy, naked man in the woods and he offers you a hamburger, you say NO."

And he says these things randomly and out of nowhere:

"Ok here's a situation: You have 8 eels in a jar and you have to eat 7 of them and keep the last one as a pet. What do you do?"

"Here, have a piss popsicle." (This one he says when he's mad)

"When you don't listen to me I feel like I'm in a glass box holding my heart and bleeding everywhere and you're just sitting there laughing at my pain."

"You're voice is like the color purple."

These are only a few I remember from last year. During his Japanese II class on the first day of school we were reminding him of all the crazy thing he's said in the past. He denied saying any of it, and I honestly think he doesn't even realize what he says half the time.

Here's a new saying from today:

"I feel like I'm falling off a canary."

The year has only started, and I'm sure Mr. Wright is only starting to unload his stock of odd sayings upon us.

Here's a video clip of Mr. Wright dancing to our Japanese Learning tapes: link link link