Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

You know, when I went to afterschool (directly translated from danish, since I don't know the english term) we had to start out the year with writing a lterr for usselves, to read when the year was done. When I read my letter I could absolutely not recognize myself. I sounded like a stupid, little brat that didn't care about anything and was very shy. In one year had grown tenfold. I don't know if I've grown much this time though, but I can't recognize the guy from the last entries here either. Funny, huh?

Anyway... journals ( in my opinion) are made for getting out ones inner troubles, so here goes short:

I have a girlfriend - who loves me to death and I think that's another why I can't anymore - but I love another girl. I dream of her, both asleep and awake, and I know that I have to let her know how I feel. I just have to be patient for a little while longer, so I can get my pay and take her out. I'm just afraid she might find someone else before that. But what about my current gf? She's selfdestructive to begin with, so i worry about her. But I can't stay only for her sake, right?

I've finally got a job after a long time in the shallows, but for how long will I be doing this and will I be able to do it well enough to avoid the boot? My future might have been slightly stabilized, but it's still like swimming through dark waters and my air is slipping up.

My best friend, Johnny, has this girlfriend, who is really the reincarnation of Stalin, Ku Min-Kim and Cerberus in one soul. He's practically on a leash and she keeps the string short and sharp. I'm worried that if he doesn't push her away soon, he might never be able to stand up for himself. He knows it and I know it.

Anyway, I think that's enough for now...

I don't know why... at the same time, i'm relieved... but on the other side, i'm depressed or just sad. i mean... i knew that it had to be like this, but my small amount of optimism always makes me hope that... bleh, ******** it. i would just ******** things up again, which is the last thing i want... i hope no one reads this... especially not... which is why i should just stop here.

I blow it, and all in all i, owe it all to meeting you...

Ahh... i'm finally in a, probably short, phase of relative peace... with that i think of school, parents and other silly things... the only thing confusing and proding my mind regulary right now (actually, it's always)... are girls. Or more like, a certain few girls... which i'm not gonna name, as it's not really necessary... i think.

Damned Axel Music guy... forgot to give me the damned disc... i bought, or thought i did buy, Sin City on DVD... but when i opened the box, there was no disc... so tomorrow i'm gonna go in there and strangle the guy, until he spits out what i paid good money for.
I've got more important things to save my cash for anyway...

well, have a nice day. later.

Jaxx-Leviathan

Mah mah... seems i couldn't keep my own promise, haha. I'm back, baby! And it feels gooood, muha! pirate
Well, that's kinda what i needed to say, although you already knew. Now carry on with your lifes, please. talk to ya'll later! 3nodding

Well... i've decided that i'll only come here now when i feel like it, not as to play RP's and stuff like that. I just feel... like i can't do that anymore. I also seem to have forgotten why i came here in the first place and it was only because of one person, from there it developed to involve another one, on my own bill... i must learn to focus my attention sometimes, even though i don't want a oneway tracked life i can't just slip off into worrisome stuff. Anyway, that's just it. I'll be coming back for one particular reason sometime soon, but 'til then, i don't know when i'll be back.
Take care, whoever might read this...
Bye...

Please don't pay attention to my last post, i was just being weird and all, need to go on a rambling rampage at times, heh. Besides, i realized that i was wrong thinking many of those things. Anyway, "lort" was actually more like a funny sidenote to a girl who i tried teaching some danish at a point way back in time, wanted to see if she can still remember that word, since it seems it was that word which she remembered the best. Well, just wanted to sort those things out. later. ^^

Okay, i'm sorry Sita, i know i should smile more... i still just think i look stupid when i smile, but if you say so... here's a little smile then:

Sorry it's so dark, was taken in bad lighting. Well, this pic is only gonna come up here, i don't think MyO needs this.
Later.

Hmm...
Well, i don't really know what to say, just thought i should write something, been long since last time...

Oh look, it's-a me... sweatdrop
Hmm...
Today was my first day on my new education and school... it was okay, better than i thought at least. Talked well with two or three people. They probably think i'm nuts, but that may be the character i'm going to be this time. See... everytime i start in a new school, i recreate myself from what i was last time. Last time i was intelligent, before that: a loner... and i don't remember past that. That doesn't mean that i'm much different here from what i really am, i'm just kinda... i've got many aspects to me, although the net and when i'm in my room... that's where i can be myself. Whatever that is, heh... confused
Mah, later. 3nodding