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I'm just....always alone.

And it's largely my own doing, but...not to this extent.

My gaming clan imploded, and somehow I ended up as the odd-man out of the group, even though I was the victim, imho. They were the closest thing I had to a real friend group, sad as that is. My closest family is my dad, who is more than 5 hours away, and he's struggling with health issues + taking care of my ungrateful grandmother. Rest of the family is almost 2000 miles away. Old friends are either across town or across the whole country, and busy with their own lives. Work friends are just that--work friends.

No social life, no real friends. "You have me," my boyfriend says. Yeah, that's true and cool and all, but you also have other people...if I'm not 'enough' for him, why should he be 'enough' for me? I feel so alienated from everyone and everything.

I don't mind being alone. but ********. loneliness is a different beast...