It so easy feel like s**t. Well 21 birthday yesterday and felt like another suffering day. Only thing really did is read. ha. It really laughable to me. Well I guess in wisdom there is coldness. My mom more interested in playing her ******** games than trying get to know me and what be come but i guess she don't care and it hurt. well, least she remember when birth me. sad I suppose i should be grateful she remember and so did my step father. he closes thing i have known has a father. My real father just to busy to remember when his daughter been born. Hell only 21 and feel like old lady but still wish what a child wish. I think being soak out by years. soon be hollow. I try get myself and try find a mate but nothing really happens. I want be love but i don't want pain that comes with it. When man take look at on outside. I don't know what they think sometimes. some say i look sweet and pretty. blah blah to me. I been told pretty to many time or i get rejected if want person. I am tired. Sadly I think I know what Chief Joseph felt when made his famous quote. well, least it still known today. Has anyone has in clue how to deal with mother act like child that doesn't get her way. But a course she don't see it. I know has mental problems so do i. I know her life was. But everyone's trauma different. And the pain don't least in years that go by. Hell live by everything second. Or i just try to escape my mind by reading or playing story in my mind. The pills the shrink give me don't work. I honestly don't know how must I can take. I am tired of it. Being alone that I don't how find the right person won;t hurt like been hurt in the past. I have so many goddamn walls it not funny. some I don't there until someone try burn their threw it. Oh well. I am survivor.shrug
 Freyja_Dragone · Mon Jul 06, 2009 @ 10:02am · 0 Comments |
