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Soo, um, yeah. First blog post. Woohoo? Whatever. These'll probably be pretty short, just explaining what's up and how I'm feeling. And they probably won't be long. But yeah...

So, tomorrow, I leave for the weekend, to go to a Church retreat. One fact revealed about me: I'm a Catholic. A pretty devoted one, at that. I've been looking forward to this retreat for months now, and it's finally here. I'm so excited~

I've been feeling pretty down for a while- part of the reason I disappeared for a while. The reason is that my good online friend, one I've gotten really close to, and text(ed) almost 24/7, was punished. It's been about two weeks since I've talked to her, I guess. I lost track, really, because I didn't want to think about her. But the biggest thing I'm upset for is that, the night before she was punished, she told me she wanted to call me- something we rarely do, because she doesn't like her voice. Well, I basically told her no. She would have been upset, but she wasn't, because I told her I was having a very emotional conversation with my sister, and I couldn't break away from it. Well, the big thing there is that I lied. Well, partly. I was talking to my sister, but it wasn't so heart-to-heart. We were joking around and stuff. So, my last chance to talk to my friend for the WHOLE SUMMER, and I lied my way out of it. You may or may not know how horrible I feel about it... I don't know why I'm recounting it, it's only making me feel worse, really...

But yeah, another big thing here is that I can't show my hurting. My mom knows I talk to this girl a lot, but she doesn't know how emotionally attached I am to her, and if I shared it with my family, I'd be ridiculed by my sisters, and that'd only add to the pain...

So yeah... Feeling pretty bad right now... Guess I'll trudge on...