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okay, so by now everyone who matters knows whats going on with me and i keep hearing from everyone that its going to be okay, i'll be okay, when i say i'm fine they accept it. well you know, at this point i need someone to tell me its not going to be okay, i'm going to hurt for a long time, a boyfriend whom i loved for three years, got engaged to and had my life planned around his was cheating on me ever since the relationship began was an a*****e, someone needs to tell me i'm not fine, and i'm not going to get over this right now, trying to move on is hopeless, i need this because i need reality, not some happy go lucky fru fru saying that people are always preaching. i've had break ups before and they suck, i've been fired from jobs before, that sucks, i have never been disowned by my parents but i've always had issues, possibly because i was adopted and never knew so i flipped out and did something i guess i don't regret but you know, i am in a dark place right now and i need to be there because somewhere bright and happy will hurt me and the people who still love me, so please, i need someone to tell me the true reality of my situation, i need some darkness. (yes this sounds emo, stfu)