|
|
|
I will not be dependent on you.
You will not determine who I am.
No one will.
I never really knew you, although I was with you for six years of my life. I do not regret making the decision of accepting you and your excuses again and again, but I will mark you and our time together as a bad experience in my life. Maybe you stopped loving me a long time ago, and I was not aware.
Your love did more hurt than anything I have ever experienced, and because of it, I will not make the same mistakes again.
I will bury this love deep, so deep that nothing in this universe will ever know of its' longing existence.
I will erase you from my mind so well, that not even my heart will be able to recognize your face in plain sight.
I wish I had known about your loveless touch much before now, and although you will never be with me, I hope the very best life has to offer.
In a way, I am disappointed in myself.
Disappointed because I thought my love, and my love alone could change you for the better, that my encouragement could make you believe even when everything seemed impossible, that even though as your world was crumbling apart, you could always find refuge in my arms to make you stronger.
I underestimated the power of your selfish heart.
A heart that I wanted to hold and protect even against the punishment of God himself.
A heart that perhaps felt nothing, but radiated so many lies to make me believe blindly in its' facade of love.
A heart that I wanted to help grow and achieve all it had ever dreamed of, no matter if that meant the loss of the dreams in my own.
At some point, your dreams were my dreams. Your goals were my goals. Your desires and wants were my command.
I thought that your love was what made me think I could face the Titans of the world to protect all of your being, but in reality it was only my own love for you, my own heart that beat just for you, that was able and willing to face every battle that came its way, as long as your soul and fragility was spared.
At the end, it was still my lonely heart the one that comforted yours in the face of the unknown, sucking in all your despair and holding it tight so you would be saved.
At the end, it was my arms that held you tightly to ward off any arrows aimed at your world.
At the end, it was only my voice that comforted you and lulled reassurance back to your soul.
At the end, it was my eyes that shed the many oceans and rivers of tears to let you see the welcoming world that was waiting for you.
At the end, it was my soul that paid the price of your freedom and happiness, in a way that mangled and scarred it beyond recognition, even to myself.
 neo_genesis236 · Fri Apr 17, 2009 @ 04:56am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Life is so full of unexpected twists and turns. When you think you know what is around you, all of a sudden you find yourself in a maze, with no idea of how to get out, or even how you ended up in the middle of it. But then again, sometimes what you find is not a maze, but what had been in front of you all along, and it makes you realize just how lucky you are to be yourself, in your own life and in your own body. There are so many things that a person will never know for certain, no matter how hard that person tries. The only thing that is certain is death, and even then, there's no real assurance. All one can really do is live, and live as if it was the last breath, the last step, the last smile, the last sensation one will ever feel. To 'carpe diem' every day with the best you can muster is the only way to really fully see what is around you, before it is too late, because then, there will be no mortal power in this world to give you a second chance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It has definitely been a while since I last did this...well, a lot of good things have happened...but it's funny how you never think of those good things when you feel your life crumbling and your heart and soul trembling. I think there may be something seriously wrong with me...either that, or Devin is just trying to find fault where there is none in our relationship. At times like these, I can't help but agree with my mom when she told me that all that men want is sex, if they don't get enough of it, it seems as if they want to run away, but when you keep the brain between their ******** testicles satisfied, they swear undying love and a relationship that will last a lifetime! I am tired of Devin being so ******** selfish! I give all of myself to him, only to have him tell me that I need to get a 'hobby and some friends', In all reality and consciousness: WTF is that supposed to mean you a*****e! I give you everything you want, go out of MY way EVERYDAY to make you happy, and all of a sudden you say this ******** s**t to me?! I push you everyday to realize all the things you want to do, and to be the best you can, and you tell me this s**t?! I AM TIRED of this! What will it be next time, huh? I'm too much into my 'hobby and friends' that we don't spend enough time together, or I don't do enough for you?! You know what! ******** YOU!! Yeah, I said it ********! ******** YOU and your lies, ******** YOU and the immeasurable love I have for you, ******** YOU and I hope your mother takes care of you with her drunken, drug-high, selfish, painful love, because if you're going to keep this senseless s**t up, YOU, my ******** selfish love, can go get you a** ******** over by whoever you want!
neo_genesis236 · Sun Sep 21, 2008 @ 10:22am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think I am going to copy the Green Fox and write a story on this thing...Devin has been working on something, and I think it is time that we get together and try to think about this story and its' plots and twists! So, upcoming: _________...we don't know yet! sweatdrop
Love to all of you! Have a great year and be good, behave and study hard! Don't give up on anything you embark and good luck with your New Year's Resolutions! heart 4laugh heart
~Genesis 3nodding
neo_genesis236 · Thu Jan 04, 2007 @ 12:09am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yay! Winter Break! And for all of you gamers out there (which is probably all my friends), you know this is the perfect time to finally beat those games that you've put off because of school!!! I know that I'm playing HK2 (again), FFXII, Magna Carta, Trauma Center, World of Warcraft, and (hopefully) PSU, among others. How about you guys? O.O
neo_genesis236 · Tue Dec 12, 2006 @ 06:42pm · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
So, a new year has started and classes are bombarding you with work and tests...it is quite fun though, at least for me! My new addiction, apart from video games, anime and reading, has become WoW. I am an elven priest!!! Yay! 4laugh I reccommend this game to anyone and everyone! It is a lot of fun and you get to team up and make your own guild and blah blahblah blah..... Apart from all that, I hope all of you are having a good start of term. Remember, high school is just a tiny step to get to college, although it may not seem like it, and then once you are here, I promise you will not want to leave! 3nodding Have fun and study hard, believe me: IT IS WORTH IT!!!!!
I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!
neo_genesis236 · Tue Sep 19, 2006 @ 05:00pm · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
What would you do if...
[1] I committed suicide:
[2] I said I liked you:
[3] I kissed you:
[4] I lived next door to you:
[5] I started smoking:
[6] I stole something:
[7] I was hospitalized:
[8] I ran away from home:
[9] I got into a fight and you weren't there:
What do you think about my:
[1] Personality:
[2] Eyes:
[3] Face:
[4] Hair:
[5] Clothes:
[6] Mannerisms:
Other:
[1] Who are you?:
[2] Are we friends?:
[3] When and how did we meet?:
[4] How have I affected you?:
[5] What do you think of me?:
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?:
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?:
[8] Do you love me?:
[9] Have I ever hurt you?:
[10] Would you hug me?:
[11] Would you kiss me?:
[12] Would you have sex with me?:
[13] Would you marry me?:
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?:
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?:
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?:
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.:
[18] Am I loveable?:
[19] How long have you known me?:
[20] Describe me in one word.:
[21] What was your first impression?:
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?:
[23] What do you think my weakness is?:
[24] Do you think I'll get married?:
[25] What about me makes you happy?:
[26] What about me makes you sad?:
[27] What reminds you of me?:
[28] What's something you would change about me?:
[29] How well do you know me?:
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?:
[32] Are we close?:
[33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?:
neo_genesis236 · Wed Jul 19, 2006 @ 07:33pm · 6 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ok. Now, about the asterisks in the dialog...
Kore- this word is used to point out an object that is close to the speaker. It means "this one".
Sore-It means "that one" and is used for objects close to the listener, but a bit of a way from the speaker.
Are- "that one"(over there). This is for an object that is far away from both the speaker and listener.
Ano-"that"
Sono-"that" close to listener.
I'll post the next dialogue soon! xp
neo_genesis236 · Tue Apr 18, 2006 @ 12:42am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ok....this goes wayyyyy back in my Japanese classes...
Lesson 2: Kaimono (Shopping)
Kaiwa (Dialog)
Ichi (...you should know what that means....)
Mary goes to a flea market.
Mearii- Sumimasen. Kore wa ikura desu ka.
Mise no hito- Sore wa sanzen en desu.
Mearii- Takai desu ne. Jaa, ano tokee wa ikura desu ka.
Mise no hito- Are wa sanzengohyaku en desu.
Mearii- Soo desu ka. Are mo takai desu ne.
Mise no hito- Kore wa senhppyaku en desu yo.
Mearii- Jaa, sono tokee wo kudasai.
(In Japanese -hiragana- characters)
1.すみません。これはいくらですか。
2.それはさんぜん円です。
3.たかいですね。じゃあ、あのとけいはいくらですか。
4.あれは三千五百円です。
5.そおですか。あれもたかいですね。
6.これは千八百円ですよ。
7.じゃあ、そのとけいをください。
It is pretty much the dialogue from before...with some kanji in it...so anyone that sees this can go find out what it means....
Have a nice day!!!!!! (Those who can't see this....please get Japanese as one of your languages on your PC...or mac...or whatever you may have...)
Ok fine! I'll explain...so...this is what it says:
Mary- Excuse me. How much is *this?
Vendor- *That is 3,000 yen.
Mary-*It's expensive*. Then, how much is *that watch?
Vendor- *This is 3,500 yen.
Mary- I see. **That is expensive as well/too.*
Vendor-*This is 1,800 yen you know.
Mary- Then, *that watch please.
neo_genesis236 · Mon Apr 10, 2006 @ 11:37pm · 6 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
