One of my favourite part of a Harry Potter/Firefly crossover I've been reading. Somehow they all manage to include Jayne. xD
Go read it: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2857962/1/
By the way, this is more than halfway through the 29th chapter. It's awesome.“Hey Harry,” Jayne said sticking his head onto the bridge. “Harry?” Jayne saw no one on the bridge, just a large trunk on the ground. “Who’s driving this thing?”
“I am,” Harry said climbing his way up and out of the trunk. “What’s up Jayne?”
“You were… in your trunk?”
“Well, I wasn’t alone,” Harry clarified, as he magically summoned a water bottle and began to cool down.
Jayne peered over Harry’s shoulder at the trunk. “In that little thing?”
“It’s bigger than it looks,” Harry said.
“Huh,” Jayne commented but was interrupted by River crawling out of the trunk as well.
“Cripes Harry,” River climbed out and was gingerly testing her left hip. “I think you broke my hi-”
“Ahem,” Harry cleared his throat loudly, interrupting her. River looked up suddenly and realized they weren’t alone on the bridge. She quickly tried to cover, “My hi- hymen.” Sometimes River thought a little too quickly for her own good.
Harry and Jayne just stared at her equally impressed at what she’d managed to say.
“Is that so?” Jayne said, not really sure what a hymen was, but could tell it was making River blush.
“Why don’t you let me heal that,” Harry said, holding back his laughter.
“That’s not… really…” River stumbled through her words. “Necessary.”
Harry put his hand over the tender area River had been pressing and incanted, “Reparo Homo.” He just left his wand strapped to his forearm and let his hand put pressure to see if she had broken her hip.
River didn’t need to hear Jayne’s evil giggling to know how it must have looked with Harry’s hand sending magic into her pelvis. She tried to ignore it, but that stupid healing spell always felt dangerously good.
Harry staggered as he usually overdid the spell.
“Thank you Harry,” River said, maintaining her poise.
“Do it again, Harry,” Jayne cheered. “Break that hymen, just so you can heal it again.”
“What?” Simon gasped walking in on the tail end of the conversation. “What did you just say?”
“Err… nothing,” Jayne replied. “Harry, I was just wondering if when we get to Jersey, we could swing by a post office?”
“Sure,” Harry agreed.
“Thanks, Harry,” Jayne turned to go back to his bunk. He explained proudly, “I gotta tell Mom about my girlfriend.”
Simon, River, and Harry all watched the slightly delusional man disappear from the bridge.
Jayne sat back in his bunk and tore a page out from the back of the Book of Jayne. He got out his trusty pencil and sat back to write Courtney Cobb a letter.
Hey Mom. It’s me. Jayne. Not a lot has changed since I last wrote you. Oh. Well, I guess Harry did lead us on a pilgrimage back to Earth-That-Was. That was a trip. But don’t tell anyone. The planet was pretty much what you’d expect. Just a giant orange ball hotter than a fresh frisked fox in a forest fire. Though a few miles under the surface we found an entire race of weird people who are like honorary descendents of Harry. They call him Master, even though it makes Harry uncomfortable.
Zoe got herself a taste of the Jaynes and won’t leave me alone. A bit clingy for a girlfriend. I may have to dump her. No… aww crud. Ignore the bird poop on this letter Mom. Harry’s pet has a somewhat twisted sense of humor. Silly immortal.
Oh well, I’m going to sleep now. Gonna try and find out how alone Harry may be in this universe tomorrow. He’s a bit of an odd one. He even brought a ship to life. Like it’s now a living thinking thing. A rutting ship. Weirdo.
Love,
Jayne
P.S. – Kaylee’s pregnant. Simon might even be the father. Who knows.
Sihnon · Tue Apr 03, 2007 @ 06:44am · 0 Comments
