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I've been extremely stressed out for a while now because i've been forced to evaluate my life. It's not something I chose to do right now, but it's been bestowed upon me.
I'm forced to figure out what is more important to me.
Those who i love the most will wind up ultimately paying the price for my decisions.
Sometimes people hurt the ones they love the most out of greed or self absorbency, but in my case it's different.
This decision is not to be taken lightly. On one hand I have someone close to me whom I cherish deeply ... and on the other I have family preservation.
If I choose the one, the rest perish as if i never knew them.
I have to make a choice.... and usually the one that makes me decide is the one that looses the battle, however this time that means leaving behind my entire family.
That's not a battle I want or need to fight.
I have way to much riding on this decision, therefore I have to make a choice.
There's no more time for me to ponder with these thoughts.
A decision needs to be made.
Even though I have this gut wrenching pain in my heart... I choose my family.
They might not be the greatest, but I know without me... they will fall apart.
I can't let that happen because of my own selfish needs.
I just hope i'm making the right decision.