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I'm going to college and high school full time. It's really hard and I'm struggling to pass all these classes. It will be worth it though when I finally do graduate high school early...then go on to do more college.

I have been reading some interesting things about chaos magic. It is really fascinating to read about...very very interesting indeed. Here is a passage that Peter Carol states in "Principia Chaotica".

"In Chaos Magic, beliefs are not seen as ends in themselves, but as
tools for creating desired effects. To fully realize this is to face
a terrible freedom in which Nothing is True and Everything is
Permitted, which is to say that everything is possible, there are no
certainties, and the consequences can be ghastly. Laughter seems to
be the only defence against the realisation that one does not even
have a real self."

Something to ponder.

Geh. I got in a huge fight with my parents last night. They said that they're pretty much going to stop being my parents now.

What the ********? They won't take me anywhere to anything, and they've been acting upset with me all the time. I don't know how to make things change. Maybe last night was the last and final fight. They're always threatening to do things like this but maybe it's too late now.

I'm 17, guess they just want to force me "out of the nest" early. It's a bit soon but I guess it had to happen someday or whatnot. I'm still living at my house but I don't know how much longer they're going to let me.

I sobbed so much these past few days. I don't really know when I'm going to stop crying. Crying sucks to be doing it so much. I hate how it leaves this gross residue on my cheeks. And I hate silent crying the most. Sobbing so hard that you can't make a sound.

Well I don't know what's going to happen. I don't have any friends...I just kinda hang out at home all the time. I don't really have anyone that I can turn to for help. Guess I'm going to have to. I don't know.

I hate everything that's been on the news lately. I hate the war, I hate the hurricane, and everything else is s**t. Why can't people get their act together and stop the destruction?

It is said that every great civilization in history will eventually be destroyed by power and greed. Just like the Roman Empire I believe that the United States will fall.

It's been a while since I've posted anything in this journal. It's been nearly a year and I've changed a lot. I went to the country fair and I got to see a lot of naked people. Yay.

Summer is pretty fun I guess. There's not a lot to do though.

Right now I'm in the "big city". I won't say which city it is in case I have any stalkers. ninja There's this awesome Asian mall here with little Japanese book stores and everything. So kawaii! 4laugh I got some Japanese candy, manga, a notepad, and a magazine with Japanese people who bleach their eyebrows. eek